I have no children of my own and my husband has two. A 12 year old daughter and a 15 year old son.

I guess I have no idea how to raise children and I've been told things like, "I'm not used to having kids around and don't have the patience for them"..thus the reason why I expect them to pick up after themselves; expect them to take care of their things; and expect that when they're here in our home, it's not a vacation and they're expected to help out.

My husband is a Disney Daddy, and sets a very poor example when we have his children. The house is clean when they get here but two hours later, it's a disaster area. I understand that kids will make a mess, but there's such a thing as putting their things where they belong.

Jackets are thrown on the floor, pop cans sit all over the place, candy wrappers get thrown on the floor, they have no respect for furniture and have broken chairs, set their sweaty soda cans and popsicle wrappers on my antique furniture, etc.

My husband tells me I'm overreacting when there are sweat circles on my antique tables that can't be replaced. My step son tells me, "You and your stupid antiques..it's just a piece of furniture." while my husband says nothing.

Most of the time I just disengage and go upstairs to our bedroom. They look to me because I AM a good stepmom and I know they love me, yet my hubby demands no respect from them regarding putting their things away, etc.

Then there is the issue of communication regarding my stepkids. I'm SUPPOSED to be some sort of "mother figure" but every decision made regarding his children is made between my hubby, his ex, and her husband. My stepdaughter has terrible allergies and has recently gone to a very expensive homeopathic allergist who has pretty much cured her allergies with natural supplements.

She is now in 6th grade middle school and has gone less than 14 days due to her skin breaking out. Upon seeing her homeopathic specialist and being tested, he said it was definitely nerves...something I kinda figured out from the very start even when she stayed with us. She would be find with our Golden Retriever, yet as soon as it was the day before she was supposed to go back home..she'd start breaking out.

I listened to my hubby go on and on about her breaking out yet again and how she had to miss so much school; how sorry he felt for her because, even after going through all those tests, she was STILL breaking out; I thought to myself, "Nerves I'll bet..". Funny that her skin clears up all of a sudden when it's the day for Volleyball.

HUH. I just shut up.

They again took her in for more testing and tests showed that it was nothing more than nerves. She didn't like her new glasses so they got her a new pair. Her laptop wasn't working yet again and she wanted a new one (five in three years??). She doesn't know how to take care of her things. I've seen her throw things carelessly around and she has the mentality that "Disney Daddy" will buy her a new one. When Daddy said he could afford to buy her a new one..of course she breaks out and Daddy feels sorry for her.

Before too long she'll get that damned new laptop courtesy of Disney Daddy..poor little girl...she needs something to do her schoolwork on.

What started out as a very sweet little girl is turning into an absolute manipulative "monster".

I made a small comment to my hubby about her being maybe just a little nervous and maybe that's what might make her break out?

Ohhhhh NO..and what the hell do I know about raising kids??

From now on I just shut up.

Do any of you ever feel like just plain disengaging? I'm basically just a sidekick for the most part as my hubby has told me that the two kids already have a Mom and Dad and more than anything..I should be their friend since they think soo very much of me; I'm nice to them; and they love me just the way I am.

Huh.