Nightmare ex, making my life unbearable
Hi fellow step parents. Long time lurker, first time poster here.
I am at a loss so I decided to post here in the hopes of getting advice, shared experiences, thoughts or just anything really from someone who may understand. Sorry if this is long, I just truly need to vent...
I have been married to my husband for two years. He has a child from a previous relationship (never married), and his ex girlfriend has made it her life's mission to make our life together as uncomfortable as possible.
I always assumed things would get easier with time, but every single time I feel like things have calmed down, a storm hits us.
We live on a large farm/ranch in our own house, but my in laws also live on the property. In the beginning, the ex used to visit my in laws a lot, but we voiced our opinion on the matter and it stopped for a while, only to start again in an even worse way. Now she spends weekends there! Literally spends nights sleeping over at her ex boyfriends parents house, and she is 40+... In what world is this normal? And while she is staying there, she makes sure to "accidentally" bump into me and my husband when we do work around the farm, only to harass us. She also talks my SD into spending the nights at my in laws house with her, instead of with us. This is particularly frustrating for my DH, as he loses valuable time with his daughter. However, he does not want to cause a scene in front of his daughter and is reluctant of being the one to "deny" her to spend time with her mother and grandparents.
She also uses every opportunity to talk negatively about us, accusing us of things, and spreading rumors about us to anyone who will listen. Common friends, family members, employees, my in laws. And no one seems to have the balls to put her in her place. I have been subject to her abuse for two years now. Phone calls, messages, face to face abuse, I have just taken it and never once said or done anything to her. I thought it would be best for my SD to be the bigger person and not get involved in this drama. I have ignored it to the best of my ability, but now it seems to have move into my home so to speak. I do not feel safe or comfortable in my own home. I do not trust my in laws. I lock myself in the house and avoid all farm work, leaving all of that to my husband because I do not wish to see her. This has become unbearable and we do not know what to do. We have tried talking to his parents, they know how we are feeling. I think they know that what they are doing is wrong, but they clearly have no intention of stopping it. I am now considering getting a divorce and move out because it has gone too far and no one seems to do anything about it. I am six months pregnant as well, so I might be overly emotional because of that, but I don't really think so. I think I would have reacted and felt the same way regardless.
Sorry for the long post, and thank you to all of you who took the time to read it.