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kjpack28's picture

Submitted by kjpack28 on Tue, 04/05/2016 - 5:46pm

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General Discussion

I signed up on Step talk as a desperate attempt to vent to someone who might be in a similar situation as I am. Reading through some of the forums, I see people can be pretty harsh, and sometimes downright judgmental based on assumptions not knowing the whole story. (And obviously many supportive and helpful comments as well!!!)

I wanted to post on here because I felt I needed support from someone who is going through the same type of situation and understands. My question is if others find this more helpful or harmful place to vent? I think posting and having others ridicule me and assume things and having to explain to prove myself might be more stressful than not talking to anyone at all. Clearly I can ignore those comments and focus on the positive ones (which will be difficult for me because I will want to explain to everyone that misinterprets something) but I am just curious if others leave their computer feeling better or more upset.

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Tue, 04/05/2016 - 5:58pm

Welcome. It has been very helpful for me. I find that even the harsh comments, most of the time, aren't mean spirited and gives a perspective to consider. The people here are very wise advice and have lots of experience in Steplife.

Word of advice, the use of sarcasm and sexual references are made frequently here.

Edit: there's a LOT of support here.

Lit'l Bit's picture

Submitted by Lit'l Bit on Tue, 04/05/2016 - 6:12pm

I have not posted too much here either. Some replies do seem harsh but at the same time you may need that kick in the pants. There are other replies that you get that try to offer support. My best advice is that if you feel the need to explain yourself do so if not then ignore the comments you feel are mean and but keep an open mind. Some of the comments on my blogs have been nasty but I choose to ignore them and reply only to the ones that get my situation or offer sound advise.

blueorblackink's picture

Submitted by blueorblackink on Tue, 04/05/2016 - 8:47pm

The advice and the criticism help. Some of the most offensive posters have the best advice.... just the worst possible delivery.

Read it all. Take nothing personally and realize the view points offered are from all situations and walks of life. Some suit you some do not.

But it is good to get it off your chest....

kjpack28's picture

Submitted by kjpack28 on Tue, 04/05/2016 - 9:08pm

Thanks! I'll give it a try. I like constructive criticism..but your right. Maybe when it's delivered poorly it is still good to pay attention.

classyNJ's picture

Submitted by classyNJ on Wed, 04/06/2016 - 7:49am

I thank goodness for this site. I don't have the worst SK's but I'm not a bio and wanted some insight on how to help DH get through some of those times that I know he is overwhelmed. I have gotten more than my share of kicks in the ass and appreciate every single one.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Wed, 04/06/2016 - 7:50am

I have found it helpful although I have had harsh comments at times myself. It is tough to get across your message in typing. There is no tone. There is no body language. There is no way to know if a person is being serious or sarcastic with what they type.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Wed, 04/06/2016 - 8:06am

It's easy to make assumptions because it's impossible to have ALL of the facts and we obviously do not know the people involved.

Without all of the facts, people base things on their own experiences, or experiences of someone they know, or someone else that they have heard/read about.

So, sometimes the advice will be good, sometimes inappropriate, and sometimes just plain wrong. And yes, some people are just rude.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 04/06/2016 - 8:58am

Overall it is a very good and positive place to vent IMHO. I have been here for a number of years. Of course the more info you provide the less assumption you will have to counter from people making recommendations from only limited information. I for one do not dig for more information. I comment from what the OP writes and adjust within the conversation thread as it unfolds for threads that keep my attention.

Welcome and good luck. I hope you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute, and to pick up some useful perspective from others who are living the blended family dream.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Wed, 04/06/2016 - 11:54am

I would have gone insane long ago without this site.
And those "harsh" comments were reality slapping me in the face.

There's a lot of experience here and everyone can learn from it.
I am preparing myself for step-teen years!

Love this place; and really, you need a sense of humor and the absurd. If someone is easily offended then maybe do a lot of reading on this site first, so one knows what to expect?