You are here

new stepmom, first post

newsmom's picture

Oh BMs. It's hard for me to rationalize being on the other end of things and behaving the way some do. I hope there are Smoms out there that have healthy (maybe not friendly or chummy but atleast healthy) relationships with their Skids BMs. I basically only read the BM rants on here because that's all I can really identify with. My BF is amazing and I absolutely adore his 3 kids. They are bright and sweet and do their best to handle what's been thrown at them despite their crazy crazy a** BM attempting to sabotage anything that doesn't involve her and/or would infringe upon her keeping them as her needy babies with an ill opinion of their BD forever.

I have always taken the high road with her (ie her sending BF endless txts the day before she and I first met about how I'm only "his whore", how she wants him back and will leave her fiance immediately for him, how she thinks he can't "handle" how hot she is, how she is worried that I won't feed the kids or change diapers if ever left alone with them (WTF right?!),etc etc). I met her, shook her hand, and ignored all the crap though I was dying, DYING to tell her she's looking dang rough for 40 and she's not NEARLY as hot as she appears to think she is. UGH. Now she's told the skids they are to refer to her fiance as "daddy" and that she "sent their dad away" because he "yelled at her and made her cry". WOW. HE divorced HER. He has very seldom lost his cool with her and not in front of the kids unless she put her cell phone on speaker or something ridiculous. It's frustrating to watch him work so hard to be civil to her and always do what's right for them but have her (their mother that they trust and respect at least while their too young to know better) bad mouth him and try to ruin the relationship he has with them.

There is so much more to gripe about but I'm getting ticked off talking about it. Bottom line. The woman is nuts. And a pain in my a**. And making her and the BFs divorce so much harder on the kids than it needs to be. To me that translates as the behavior of a selfish b. My plan: continue to do what I can to support these great kids, showing them what a healthy relationship looks like, hell, what a healthy maternal figure looks like, hoping she will move on and fix herself. We can all laugh when I report back with a novel on how she has failed to do so and has done something I had previously thought to be beneath even her.

Until then, please everyone, keep up the crazy BM stories. I need them! lol

KirbyKat's picture

You should be proud of yourself for the way you are handling this and approaching the situation. The stepkids are lucky to have you in their life!

hbell0428's picture

It is VERY hard to hold things in......isn't it!! You are VERY lucky to like (sorry if that sounds harsh) you SK'S.
As horrible as it may be some parents hurt thier children by playing mind games w/ them! SAD isn't it! Keep your head up and allways take the high road when dealing w/ trash