You are here

New to this site, SD driving me nuts!

dhunt13's picture

I am so glad I found this site...I honestly have been feeling like I am the worse person in the world for not loving my step-daughter. So glad to see there are so many others who have issues with their step kids as well. I started dating my husband when SD was only a year old....so she has known me most of her life. She's now 5. When we first got together, things were actually pretty good. Then we had our own son, and I then came to the realization that I do not love SD in the same way I love my own son. Not even close. As she gets older, she gets more annoying and I find myself dreading the days that we have her. I honestly feel as if our marriage ever ends, it will because of my issues with her. She is constantly putting things in her mouth...eating paper, her own hair, chewing up my sons toys, her clothes. I caught her one day licking a rock. She masturbates on our couch almost every day (sometimes more than once a day) and nobody has the balls to tell her what she's doing needs to be done in private. I'm so sick of her doing this in front of my 2.5 year old son. I've told DH to talk to her mom about it so one of them can discuss the reasons why she shouldn't be doing this out around everyone else. But he's such a pussy that he's afraid to talk to his ex about anything regarding their child. She NEVER shuts up talking...constantly...from the time she wakes up in the morning to the time she goes to bed. Hubby and I can't have a conversation without her butting in every single time. She wants constant attention...all.the.time. "Look at me", "Look at this", "Look what I'm doing". It would be ok if she actually had something she wanted us to look at....but the majority of the time she is just sitting there doing nothing. Yesterday I sat and watched her for a bit. Hubby was sleeping on the couch. She was sitting by the TV with a piece of paper, was tearing little pieces off and putting them in her mouth. Some of them, she'd swallow. Other pieces she'd roll into little spit/paper balls and hide them under the coffee table. WTF kid?? She is constantly trying to manipulate my son...pretending to want to "share" with him, and then snatches every damn toy he plays with. She's never satisfied with whatever she's playing with. The moment she sees our son with something different, she makes it her mission to get it from him. I'm at my wits end. My husband doesn't discipline her for anything. He never talks to his ex about any concerns/issues I have. Everything is just put on the backburner, and then just starts to snowball. Sorry for the long rant...I could probably go on forever. I just needed to get this off my chest, and wondering if anyone has any advice in regards to getting my husband to start taking some action instead of being so damn passive all the time.

jjmomma's picture

sounds like she needs some therapy! OCD comes to mind. acting out is very common and something needs to be done ASAP! So sorry sounds terrible!

kmseiler's picture

A few different things seem to be going on here.
What sends up the red flag for me is your sd eating non food items.sounds Like and eating disorder called PICA. a conversation with her Dr needs to happen.

Grabbing toys when your son is playing with them is normal child behavior. Sharing and taking turns needs to be stressed.

The "look at me" attitude signals to me that she is craving attention that is mainly showered on your son because he's younger and YOUR child.

Please talk to your husband about having a convo with your sd doctor.

Jleeannexox's picture

Sounds like my sd. Will not shut up. Constantly asking when am I seeing my mommy literally 40-50 times a day over and over again. My husband won't ever disapline her saying its no use since he only gets her every other weekend. I litterally hate this kid and I love kids normally. She's just freaking weird! I feel your pain : /