New here, so glad to find you all
Hi all, didn't see a generic "new member" forum so I hope this is ok. I found this site after googling "I Hate My Husband's Ex." I have looked over a few forums and think this is what I really, really need.
I have a 13 year old bio daughter that I have raised completely on my own until meeting my dh about three years ago. He has a 12 year old bio daughter, now my stepdaughter. Her BM has her mostly on the weekends and we have her the rest of the time. I have hated dealing with this woman's craziness and sometimes it seems like every day there is some new indignity. I won't get into details yet here, after all this is just an intro post!!
I struggle to be a good SM because I still find it hard to feel close to a child that I did not know for the first 9 years of her life. I often feel either worried that I am not doing a good enough job, or awkward because I am trying to figure out how to "act" with her. I just don't have the same kind of emotions and love for her that I do for my bd. I feel like her "parent" without being a "mom". I don't know how she feels about me at all. I can't tell if she loves me and likes having me in her life, or if she is just tolerating me because she has to. Sometimes I feel like I do so much but no matter what I do, her BM gets all the love and loyalty.
I love my dh but sometimes he drives me crazy with how he deals (or refuses to deal) with the BM's crazymaking behavior. Most of the fights we have are about her and how we should handle her.
Anyway, I don't have anyone I can really talk to that can understand these issues. I hope this site will save a little of my sanity, vent that frustration, and help keep my marriage healthy!
I'm looking forward to meeting you all and hearing your stories...