New here Seeking help/advice Abandonment issues? Mental illness? Spoiled brat?
DH has two sons with BM. Matt18 and Bob12. When Matt18 was 14 there was a “Altercation” between DH, myself and Matt. Bob who was 8 at the time Witnessed this and sided against us with Matt. This Altercation resulted in Matt being thrown out of our house, huge court battles with BM and CPS. Eventually it was resolved and Bob came back BUT since Matt caused so many problems and was NOT sorry we refused to let him come back.
Here is the issue. Bob12 was always somewhat a spoiled needy Clingy brat. But as he’s gotten older it’s gotten worse NOT better. Even though Bob gets to see DH almost as much as BM he is super Clingy to DH. Here are some examples
1. BM takes a vacation for a week and leaves Bob with us and he’s Thrilled could care less. DH and I take ONE short vacation a year without bob and there is extreme crying, begging, anger and DH has to PROMISE to call Bob everyday.
2. Bob at 12 is very Huggy with DH. He needs a hug at bedtime, when he gets up, when he leaves, when he comes over and random throughout the day. He was NEVER like this till about two years ago. I don’t know if he’s like this with BM but don’t think so but regardless for a kid his age I think it’s odd.
3. Bob NEVER hangs out in his room at our house. Completely uninterested in watching TV unless DH watches with him. Bob will play Video games on his tablet alone but otherwise NEVER Entertains himself and needs to be up DH ass 24/7. He even needs DH to put him to bed at night. I know he hangs out in his room at BM’s house and does Independent things.
4. Jealousy. I feel bob is always Challenging me for DH . At a Restaurant bob has to sit next to DH. Going for a walk bob has to talk next to DH. If DH tells bob to move or defends me bob gets VERY upset and Usually over exaggerate the situation crying and or running off pissed.
Now as much as I dislike BM I know Bob loves her very much so I don’t think bob acts this way because he loves DH more.
Bob12 has been Diagnosed with ADHD and anger issues who he sees a Psychologist for. Could these issues be from his ADHD?
Could bob be acting this way because of what happened between DH, me and older brother Matt?
How would the best way to help correct these issues