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New here Seeking advice on Bratty SS

Crazyinnewengland's picture

Ok I’ve been scoping out this site for sometime and see that some people have the same problem that I do. I’ve read the posts about adult SKs that “fail to launch”. Well my SK is only a pre-teen but is so Clingy and needy to BF it’s driving me crazy. I pushed to get SK Signed up for soccer(only sport SK likes) in hopes that would allow SK to make friends and not be so needy for BF. Well basically that backfired on me. SK insisted BF go to every game and practice and would have a total meltdown if BF said he had to miss one. By the way he never did because SK made such a Stink. Eventually BF was Confronted by the coach to be the assistant coach since he was always around helping. So now I see BF even less and we are limited on going away as BF needs to make sure he’s available for weekly practice and games every weekend even when it’s BM’s parenting time! Mind you BM was ALWAYS at every game/practice too(joy) so he was never alone without a parent but SK did not care he wanted daddy there too.  I Realize by reading some of these post some SK’s Never really outgrow the needy stage. My question is IF stepkids do Eventually grow out of this needy clingy daddy stage, and SOME must, what age Typically does this happen? I’m not looking for the extreme age but “normal” age kids start becoming more into hanging out with friends and less wanting to stay attached at the hip to daddy.

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

Unless your DH handles this nothing will change. 

My SS refused to be at practices alone, or anywhere for that matter. But my SO didn't give him a choice. He either was dropped off/picked up or didn't go - end of story.

SS still can get this way but there is zero coddling. He sits at home while the other kids go.  And when he complains about it the response is always "your fault".

If your DH continues to coddle and/or enable your SS the clingy behavior will continue.

Crazyinnewengland's picture

SS is a only child and BOTH BM and BF Are equally to blame for him being such a spoiled brat. BF is the Typical Disney dad and SS is VERY smart and knows all the right Buttons to push to get BF to feel guilty. It’s actually scary how Manipulating this kid is to get what he wants. BF has no problem with SS being so clingy either from guilt or just because who knows. Regardless I am holding out hope Hormones will kick in in the next few years and the brat will at least get a girlfriend if he’s not Interested in hanging out with friends. 

susanm's picture

And the otherr kids are not making fun of him for always having mommy or daddy with him?  I know that all schools are doing the anti-bullying campaign now but they can't police everyone all the time.  At some point the kids are going to notice and they will make comments.

Crazyinnewengland's picture

I keep hoping the other kids WILL start picking on him and shame him into being normal but it’s yet to happen. It has been noticed by teachers and us that SS never really had any friends. He talks about “freinds” but they are more Acquaintances as he never does anything with them outside of school. EVER! That being said the kids must sense something is off with SS BUT so far he’s never been bullied or made fun off. I believe the fact schools are so anti bully and no kid gets left behind the teachers go out of their way to make sure SS gets social interaction and everyone plays fair. At sporting events SS ALMOST acts normal or as normal as he can get. He will hangout with other kids during the game and almost forget about BF BUT tell the brat ahead of time daddy can’t make he will flipped a nut. A lot of it is trying to control BF and see how high SS can get BF to jump. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Dump him! He is only your boyfriend and doesn’t make you or your relationship a priority!

StepHell isn’t worth it! RUN GIRL!

lorlors's picture

In my experience, stepkids don’t get better with age or time. In fact, they get worse.

My stepson has turned 18. We used to get on reasonably well. Now I think he is the biggest, most selfish gobsh1te around.

As someone on here recently posted: little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.