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New here and need to vent and need advice!

DinOC's picture

Ok, here's the story....wish I could sum it up but it will be hard. I am a 31 year old step mom to a 10.5 year old boy who has been diagnosed as ODD (oppositional defiant disorder - which is the least fun to deal with in the world. Essentially, it's like nailing jell-o to a tree). He hates my guts and wants his parent alone to himself. I will add here for the thought, I am a lesbian and in a "marriage" arrangeent with my partner. Anyhow..the boy has major anger issues, lies all the time, etc. It has gotten increasingly more stressful and I am at my wits end.

How do you determine if it is worth it?? I am a school counselor but am struggling with this at home. I can help "Fix" other people's kids very easily, but not the one I live with. Half the time you don't know if he is acting out of oppositional for attention or if its a character defect - saying he hates God, thinks bad thoughts all the time, wants to know what it would be like to stab someone, lies chronically, etc.

Anyone else with a similar situation??? I know if I called Dr. Laura, she'd say - get out! I know I would tell my friends that. But its hard....

SammyJo58's picture

My son suffered with ADHD, OCD and ODD until his teen years.....and he still has anger management issues. I know that there were times that if he was not our Bio son, hubby and I would have come close to tossing the towel in.

There are a lot of good books out there that help deal with children like this. (I assume you are aware of most of them....if not, I can give you a list). I would also suggest getting the boy into counselling of some sort.

I still feel that my son may be BiPolar. and it is quite possible that with the symptoms yours is displaying, he may have some serious medical issues. The Bipolar Child is an excellent book. I agree that letting the bio mom do the parenting primarily is a good idea.

Hang in there. It is not an easy road.