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ninermom's picture

Hi,
My name is Dawn, i'm new to this website and hoping to get some support and understanding about being a step-parent.
So background. I live with my DH, his 10yr old son is with us full time BM sees him about every other month and offers no support. I have an 11yr old son that I share custody with my ex and his wife. My Daughter is 18 and is a good kid going to college.
My DH and I believe SS may have aspergers, I am still navigating the medical system trying to get a diagnosis.
My marriage is on the rocks because of all the family issues we are having. Help

QueenBeau's picture

Welcome -hugs-

This is really a nice place to vent & get advice, so please ignore all the craziness going on right now lol.

If you'd let us know some of the family issues putting your family on the rocks, I'm sure someone here has been there done that & can help out.

doll faced sm's picture

What she said.

And add:
Anonymity is a treasure. It is, of course, up to you, but I would highly advise you remove your name from your post. If ever BM or someone from her family recognizes you here, your words could come back to haunt you in court or in your personal life. It's happened here before, so *please* consider this carefully.

ninermom's picture

Thank you for the welcome Smile
I guess if I need help some more background would be good.
We are struggling so bad because I have finally put my foot down and told my DH that his kid is "off". The boy has absolutely no interests besides video games or tv, can't ride a bike, jump of a curb, or climb a rock, he won't look my in the eye when I talk to him. If I punish him he acts like I took away his birthday. I have tried to implement new rules and games to no avail I seem to be the only one in my house that can follow through with anything. I know how hard it is to hear that something is Smile "off" my BS has selective mustism (out grown) and adhd. I am just at my wits ends.

ninermom's picture

My DH has a really bad habit of pushing things under the rug if they are hard to deal with Sad I have made the mistake over the years to step in and do what he should be doing for his son.
And now here we are with me just done with all of it and him not having a clue what to do. It is so aggravating when as a family you make decisions and no one wants to follow through.

SS was on IEP for 4 years was taken off last year. His grades are questionable, his writing is horrendous (he can't even read it)I see no effort on SS part to try to improve grades, make friends, or do anything except be in front of a screen. We (read I) wanted to limit screen time to 3 hours per day, the child sits on the couch doing nothing until the tv comes on. When you send him outside he sits on the patio furniture until he comes in, he doesn't play. He doesn't talk to us about anything except what he sees on tv or pokemon. I tell him I want to hear about him, his day, what he did, but he doesn't get it. He's also very argumentative, if he thinks he's right he won't let it go. Or if your having a conversation with him and say something not correct he makes sure to point it out.

Sometimes I watch him interact with his Dad and I'm like ok he's not that off, maybe it's me. But then I tell him to go out and play and he has a melt down.

thinkthrice's picture

Ahh for the good old days. This used to be diagnosed as stubbornness and selfishness and was often referred to as a tan-trum. What cured it was:

1. plenty of rest and an early bedtime 7 days a week
2. nutritious meal times
3. zero vid and tv but plenty of fresh air
4. and last but not least, a few well placed spankings

ninermom's picture

Believe me I have tried these things and am met with total resistance from DH. I read this article the other day about outside play and having contact with nature helping kids with adhd. I can certainly attest to that my pogo stick BS does so good when he has lots of outside play time. With my SS we make the outside time and activities available but he just has no interest.