Need to Vent/EVIL SS
I have been married to my husband for almost 5 years. This was my first marriage, his 3rd. He has two bio children from two other marriages. One SD (20) and one SS(13) they were 15 and 8 respectively when we got married. I have one child, a daughter, from a previous relationship who is now 8.
I never wanted to marry someone who had children but I guess you can’t help who you fall in love with, right? From the very beginning I knew that his kids had some “issues”. His daughter (whom he had full custody of) was always depressed, hateful, disrespectful, etc. She pretty much treated me like crap the entire time she lived with us. She was/is a filthy pig but she doesn’t live with us anymore so she is a non-issue at this point so I will focus on the evil ss.
This boy has always been very jealous, violent, manipulative, hateful, spiteful, disrespectful and just plain mean to me and my daughter. My daughter always get some kind of injury when they play together. He bullies her non-stop. He tells her very mean things and does anything he can to lower her self-esteem. He has never accepted me either. It doesn’t/didn’t matter what I did to try to make them accept or even like me, it never is enough. I’ve tried so many times thinking it was me and not them. I realize now, it’s the kid, not me. SS is weird and has been diagnosed with OCD as well as depression for which he WAS being treated for however his parents decided to take him off of the medication (it didn’t help anyway). His father has had mental issues since he was 17 (he’s 40 now). The kid will not look at me, speak to me, or even acknowledge that I exist. I’ve seen him antagonize our dog just so he could slap the crap out of her for getting rough with him (SS didn’t know I was watching). If I cook dinner he will not eat it. His dad can’t even go to the bathroom where the kid isn’t stalking him outside our bedroom door. He follows him around everywhere he goes and if my daughter were to get physically close to my husband, kid will make sure it doesn’t last long. Every time I try to bring this up to husband, it always ends in a fight and him telling me it’s my fault because I’m the adult. He doesn’t see any issues at all with either of his children. Over the last few months things had gotten much worse. The kid had started going into my daughters room at night after she went to sleep to “scare” her. My daughter would cry on the way to school in the mornings and tell me about it. This put a huge strain on my husband and I relationship because my little girl was being abused and harassed and he saw nothing wrong with it. The kids bedrooms are all upstairs and I was so concerned about this, I began to let her sleep in the living room downstairs so she could be closer to me. One night about 3 weeks ago I woke up around 2:00 a.m. to use the bathroom. All the lights were of downstairs, the tv wasn’t even on. SS is walking around the living room in the pitch dark! I had been scared for my daughters safety for a very long time, almost since the beginning, and this incident proved to me that everything I thought about this kid was real and not something I was over-reacting about. My husband always makes excuses for both of his kids. He never would take up for me. Ever. It had gotten to the point where I would do anything to avoid seeing either one of them. I would hide in my bedroom and make sure that I had my eyes on my daughter every time he (SS) came around. After the 2:00 a.m. incident and my daughter confiding in me about how ugly her sb had been treating her, I made my mind up to get out of the situation. I moved out about 2 weeks ago and she and I have been so happy ever since. I no longer have to live in fear in my own home and even better, neither does my little girl. We are so happy right now and I vow to NEVER let that kid back in our lives. My husband wants to go to counseling, but we have already tried that and when she told him SS needed serious help, he wouldn’t listen to her. Plus, he would have to agree to live with us and be somewhere else when he gets his son. And? After years of him allowing his childrent to run over me, I don’t think I want him back. In fact, I don’t miss him at all.
Am I really “evil” after everything I put up with? I also have a HUGE amount of resentment for my husband for allowing his children to walk all over us and control our marriage the way he did. No, I don’t miss that situation at all! This is just the tip of the iceberg with disturbing things his son has said and done. There isn’t enough room on this forum to put everything in.