In need of an objective view
Male child is 8 and has a school crush on a girl. He talks her up and so does his mother. He brings her gifts, drawings and notes to school regularly and his mother even says its so sweet. He tries to hold her hand and be around her and his mother even says shes a sweet girl. Male child comes home crying one day from school saying he was bullied by the girl (his crush) and she is mean and the girl told she didnt like him anymore because he was fat and she told him to leave her alone. Mother believes her son and immediately contacts the school and reports the girl for bullying. So she went from a super sweet kid to a bully in a matter of a day. Mother believes every word son says and now views the girls as a mean bully and reports her to the teacher. Thoughts on this? How would you have handled the situation and what are your thoughts?
His mother is a typical
His mother is a typical helicopter parent who coddles her son. Yes bullying should be reported however it sounds more like a child's rejection towards another child she was not interested in rather than bullying. Kids that age do not have a filter. Reporting the little girl for saying this once seems a little extreme. His mother should have a word with her son about giving unwanted attention towards girls before he gets older.
Thank you for your insight.
Thank you for your insight.
Bias declaration: Reminds me
Bias declaration (so not objective): Reminds me of an incident around 30 years ago when I was at school and times were very different: I reflexsively punched an irritating classmate in the mouth because he insisted I was his girlfriend to the rest of our school class.
I was 10 years old and not interested in any boy, let alone, this horrid, stupid, blonde, buck toothed boy who had annoyed me for days... In my opinion, your SS may have harrassed the girl to the point she retaliated by saying something nasty to him. Or rightfully telling your SS to leave her alone!
BM had possibly enabled your SS to shower the little girl with what seems like unwanted attention. If the girl wasn't interested in SS and told him to leave her alone, continued behaviour would have been harrassment. When SS finally got the message of non-interest, it appears (to me) the rejection was deemed bullying... and the girl is viewed as wrong. SS should be spoken to in age appropriate ways about attention and unwanted attention - and the meaning of NO in relation to interest in girls or at a later age, women. This conversation should happen now and be modified as he ages.
30 years ago, after punching that boy, the matter was deemed sorted between kids. (He no longer liked me and I never hit him again...) No parents were involved - probably because he would need to admit being punched by a girl... Generally - rightly or wrongly - children sorted things out by themselves on the playground without parental intervention. If it happened today,I would most likely have been suspended from school. possibly even expelled. I don't condone bullying or physical violence of any sort, however,young kids often don't have the tools or experience to sort out their differences with one another through means that aren't wrong or nasty...
ETA: just because mommy-dearest loves her son, doesn't mean every other girl or woman will do so too. Mommy needs to grow up and learn common sense.
Yes, I was thinking the same
Yes, I was thinking the same thing - he was harassing this poor little girl with these gifts and love notes.
BM should have taught him how to manage his feelings without violating someone else's boundaries - and to accept that she might not feel the same way about him.
You nailed it: respect for
You nailed it: respect for the boundaries of others.
BM thinks her Little Stalker
BM thinks her Little Stalker Boy is adorable! That's fairly alarming.
If this kid's mother is going
If this kid's mother is going to report every little girl who breaks Jr's heart between now and 8th grade. Buckle up... it's going to be a long ride.
The girl didn't exactly "bully" him, she just bluntly and honestly (in her mind) told him to get lost and why. He'll have a dozen more little girl crushes over the next handful of years. As this kid's mother, she really shouldn't be encouraging all the little gifts and crap.
Yep I agree and thank you for
I agree and thank you for the responses.
Exactly to whomever said
Exactly to whomever said boundaries!
Let me guess, this kid is constantly up your ass. Trying to pry between people, joins in adult conversations and spies and reports.
He is lucky the little girl didn't sock him in the eye :)
He is 8...
IMO no parent should encourage their 8 yr old to act on a crush. He is 8 yo for goodness sake!( it is the encouragement i question...)
The mother is out of line to encourage what can be considered harassing behavior. 1 or 2 gifts is plenty.
I think junior got hit because he was harassing this girl. No bullying there at all IMO.
Well noted.
What happened to folded notes and sharing gum? When did elementary school crushing get so complicated?
Dear so and so....
I like you. Do you like me? Check one:
yes _____no______maybe______
Love bombing at 8? BM supports/encourages over-zealous attention bombardment then flips the switch to "she's a bully." Atta way to teach victimhood. He's gonna be a momma's boy - enmeshed. She's the one whose hurt and vengeful. How to raise a narcissist 101.
Exactly what I was going to
Exactly what I was going to say. Creepy little stalker boy is a momma's boy who has already learned to play the victim. What a mess he will be when he gets older. Is his mother a narcissist ? She sounds like one who is also raising one.