I dont know if i'm posting this in the correct place? Not sure how to do this stuff yet!!! I'm a complete newbie here. I came across this site and have been struggling for a while, so thought i might get the support here that i feel i am struggling to get at home. I've been with my partner 4 years and living together 2. I have two children from a past marriage and my partners daughter who's almost 8 and comes every other weekend for 3 nights. We had to go to court to get this arrangment as my partners ex has done everything you can possibly imagine to stop us forming a family together. I have formed a lovely bond with my step daughter but i constantly have the feeling something is not quite right. When she comes she is constantly wanting all the attention, which i understand as she is bound question her dad spending time with us and not her. However, every single time things don't go her way she cries with no tears and more recently she has started to have full blown temper tantrums if she can't have her own way. She has told me they are worse at home and said she shouts at her mum and her mum calls them her hairy fits. She will constantly say she has tummyache if she doesn't like what's for dinner, and then cries for mum if we say she has to eat it, to get pudding. At first we believed her and then as soon as she didn't have to eat dinner she was back out in the garden running around. No tummy achy. Now we stick to our guns and say no, she has to eat dinner. She tells us things that don't add up at home and denies if she's been naughty even if we see her doing the naughty thing. If we point this out she will blurr what she has said and then the (no tears) crying starts again. She comes across quite arrogant and angry when we have to be firm, wont look at us and shrugs her shoulders before screaming. She has talked to me about how she gets away with things because she is mischief but cute and has told me she does sneaky things.I dont know if this is made up to get attention or true. I tell my partner but then i am told she is only 7 and i'm attacking her! I'm not. I feel awful. I feel like she is either getting away with too much at home or something is really up. During lockdown we have been in contact through skype daily and her mum set her up with a box full of all the memories of the day she was born to show us, including the cards to my partner and his ex. Then that weekend she sent her to us with her baby clothes and my step daughter asked us all to close our eye and said " you might remember me in this dad, but you won't Edie" It felt really painful. I bring this up with my partner and he gets very defensive and i become the problem. When we first got together the ex sent her with photos of them as a family and said they help her feel safe. My partner says if it keeps happening he will contact her but i think it should be squashed now. Should i have to have this sort of stuff happening? Or am i not being understanding? I worry about my step daughter a lot but am starting to dread the contact. I get panic when i think about it and feel detatched from everything and spaced out. I dont want to resent her but since lockdown she has been home with her mum all the time and it shows. she is like a double at times. Even says the same sarcastic sayings and sassyness. I keep desperatly trying to see my partner in her. The only thing me and my partner fall out about is the situation with his ex and daughter. When we fall out it is really bad though and causes a rift that takes ages to heal, we are currently hardly speaking and i feel so upset about it. I dont know whether i need to try harder to ignore my feelings or i should pull back and let him deal with the behaviour. I dont want all this to come between us. If anyone can give me any advice i would be really greatful. This blended family stuff is harder than i thought!