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My lousy step-kids. Literally.

Nope's picture

This is the 4th time in 6 years that they've gotten lice, and they are only 7 and 10. I know it's not about how clean your house is but we keep our house clean, it gets vacuumed and wiped down every week top to bottom. Kids aren't allowed to have huge piles of stuffed animals everywhere. Coats get regularly washed. I may be delusional but I think our level of hygiene helps prevent it from spreading to our family when they catch it.

The BM, based only on what I've heard from people who know her, like the nanny we unfortunately shared at the beginning, lives with heaps of mess everywhere. Piles of laundry, fifty stuffed animals in bed with the kids. Lots of communal sharing of blankets and stuff. It sounds...cozy but problematic when vermin shack up on the kids' scalps. I think what is happening is the kids get lice and it permeates BM's house. And since she doesn't have the time/skills/sense of urgency to clean and bag up the types of things lice populate, like stuffed animals, extraneous bedding, etc, her house has them until they die of friggin' old age.

Each time they've gotten lice, we've gotten rid of them, in spite of BM, via twice daily combing out and bagging up of stuff (for 2 months!) and vigilant cleaning. Each time, they have repeatedly come back to us after visiting mom with life. Their lice runs take an average of 4 weeks when it could be a matter of days.

When we happen to have them for a few consecutive days before a hatch, the problem finally is resolved. What happens is, BM doesn't come remotely carefully enough (because it's time consuming!) so she'll miss a louse. Which will walk all over the head laying eggs. And the beautiful cycle of life begins again.

There is never a time when they *don't* come home during a louse outbreak with live lice walking around on their heads. We comb until there is *nothing* there. It can take an hour, easily.

Why can't she spend HER hours doing this????? Why??????? I thinks BM just doesn't *get* it. She isn't as grossed out by it, maybe. I understand I have a really deeply-ingrained sense of importance about cleanliness. I'm a methodical cleaner and stop everything to clean each time these guys get lice. But it' not like I am doing that for fun. It's unwanted work. It would be nice if BM could just try harder over at her place!!

It's so disgusting Sad

Buffy's picture

I feel this one.

We've been struggling with this for five solid years. The only times we've managed to get rid of the lice is when the children are with us for any substantial period of time (holidays etc). Other than that we spend every single weekend delousing them on arrival, washing all clothing they arrived in, washing all bedding, towels, toys, hoovering furniture etc as soon as they leave, only to know they will be infested by the following weekend as BM can't be bothered to treat them in the week (too much time / effort / money), and won't do any of the changing bedding / washing clothes over the weekend they are with us to break the cycle (as going out drinking is far more important).

We've taken them to doctors, hospitals, raised with their schools, two lots of social services and all we get is "we don't want to get in the 'middle' of anything" and that as long as she's not stubbing cigarettes out on their arms, them being ridden with lice, thrush, flea infestation in their house requiring fumigation, ringworm, cystitis, nappy rash, athletes foot and veruccas (all of which only we have ever treated and they've only seen their doctor about when my husband has taken them - which is extremely difficult with his working hours and where they live) is ignored.

No one cares and no one wants to do anything.

We are at our wits end as this consumes hours of every week, but is a losing battle as BM doesn't care - she tells them we're lying (despite video footage of the nits crawling in their heads / combed out of their hair).

No advice, but many commiserations.