Munchkin SD14 asking ME for her social security number. What to do.
she went to her mothers place last night for the week.
A quiet evening of calm bliss and netflix.
Go to sleep early and wake up to a missed call and a text asking "hey Clove, do you know my social security number?"
And of course because we are tethered to Toxic Troll for the next 3 years and 10 months, my mind goes into overdrive.
A bit of history: today is our 2 year wedding anniversary. Our wedding day was punctuated with texts from Toxic Troll "hope your happy, your girls are crying and I cannot console them!" "hope your happy, hope 3rd time is the charm for you!" (they were married in a courthouse then had a backyard ceremony at his sisters house)
Not even 2 weeks later DH was served with Child support modification orders. He had not been paying, they had 50/50 custody as per the divorce agreement, but she took him to court and got her 347 monthly payment of child support. She has been extremely quiet as of late. Something is ALWAYS up, the drama is always there, lurking in the shadows. So of course I am unable to actually enjoy my wedding anniversary because Im trying to guess what the hey she is asking ME if I know her social security number...the possibilities:
1. Signing up for her first year in high school. Um this call came at 11:30 PM last night. She JUSt got an alert that they are "transitioning to distance learning...and to please stand by for more information..."
2. Her mother cannot find it and she is filling out the paperwork for Child support modification order/review. Its only been 2 years, though and in California it needs to be 3. Toxic Troll knows how to do paperwork, but Im not sure how much knowledge of the system she is trying to work she has. She threatened to up spousal support the month before it ended...
3. Why doesnt she ask her father? Because she is asking for her mother and they do not communicate on that level. She would use Munchkin as her "robot" to extract information. And because BM is disorganized and did not do tax returns this year and probably doesnt have the social readily available, so she asked Munchkin to poke around and get it for her. For nefarious purposes.
Last year we couldnt relax on our anniversary because Toxic Troll took off all day and Munchkin as crying and worried about her. Now this year Im stressing over a freaking request for social security number.
And yes, I know it.
What to do?
"Ask your father".
"Ask your father".
I asked DH
What to do, before really thinking on it.
And asked her "whats up", before coffee was had.
He said he would ask her what she needs it for. So I wait.
I should have told her that initially
But Im begging the question. At what age should children be the "owners" of their social security numbers?
Well, that's up to their
Well, that's up to their parents.
Hopefully she's filling out a
Hopefully she's filling out a job application
not likely
shes 14. Just turned.
Yikes, hold on to your
Yikes, hold on to your wallets.
Her older sister
committed bank fraud/check fraud only last year. And started stealing at 16-17.
I think shes honest and learned it is the wrong way to be.
But its her mother Im worried about...
Her mother needs it
Shes applying for section 8 housing.
Where i’m from, at 13 even rich parents have their teenagers
At that age getting casual or part time jobs after they finish school so they can buy their own clothes etc.
I like your country
of origin. Where I am kiddos dont even start to think about holding jobs until 16. They get a permit. Then possibly drive at 18, and after graduation either get parttime work and go to college or work full time.
13. Would be nice...teaches work ethic.
Does she have her own bank
Does she have her own bank account? SO just got all the skids debt cards. SS17, SS15, and SD13. He needed their numbers for their bank accounts. They don't have them phyiscally. SO has them with their birth certificates etc. He probably won't give them to them until they move out just to be safe. (I'm guessing)
I would have DH ask her what's she needs to for first. Just tell her you don't know it ask your dad. Let him handle it from there.
Toxic Troll
Needs it to apply for her section 8 housing.
She just doesnt want to do the work to go through her tax returns where she claimed Munchkin in 2018.
I am DONe doing her work for her, and DH agrees - she can figure it out herself.
the unfortunate part is that BM sent her minion to do her dirty work of asking me for it so I feel like I have to respond somehow...
Also - I already took a sip from the koolaide
When she asked me point blank "do you know my SS", I probably should have said "I do not have it memorized so no, I do not know it..." and left it at that.
She doesnt. DH did a bank account for Feral Forger SD21 when she was like 16 so when she got a job she could cash checks.
She used it to cash forged checks and they almost locked down DHs own bank account.
Oh geeze...bm is up to
Oh geeze...bm is up to something.
Hand it off to dad to deal with.
According to Munchkin
BM is applying for section 8 housing. Because shes "disabled" er working the system for as much as she can get.
Its a relief to know the what, but now Im like "do your own work, I am DONE".
That is what she needs sd
That is what she needs sd social for...there is always a reason like looking for handouts.
Section 8 housing
I beard, don't if it's true, that an applicant with a kid, like Munchkin, would go higher on the list than a single person. Theres a big waiting list here, too, and I'm sure the pandemic isn't helping.
I know what you mean about your anniversary being ruined. The first year we were together, on my birthday, right before Christmas, BM tried to kill herself. That was so helpful and Christmas for the 3 kids, they were with us. I know she must have been in despair and I'm certain she didnt even know it was my bday (and wouldn't have cared). I'm glad those days are over.
Its still happening.
SO, since we bought a boat and then a motor we dont have much money to do anything special.
Luckily since this am I have heard zero. I put her off. Said Im busy and do not have it memorized.
So - maybe tonight we can have a nice dinner...and netflix...snore.
A few reasons she might need
A few reasons she might need it.
1. Insurance policy
2. Job verification/W-2 (though at 14... probablytoo young).
3. Application for a passport?
Obviously, a SSN is a very important and sensitive piece of information. Her dad needs to understand what she needs it for and have a talk with her about how people could use that number for fraud.. open accounts in her name.. ruin her credit etc...
For all we know, she has gotten some fishing scam online and someone asked for it.. and she doesn't realize the risk of providing it.... or BM is going to open accts in her name???
I wish that he would
explain this. I dont know if she is telling the truth, but she claims its for bm to applu for section 8 low income housing.
BM should have it as she claimed her for tax year 2018. And all the child support documentation. Also the form she signed to give us claiming rights for 2019 tax returns. I wish job verification!!! Us in the US dont want kids to work...
Good luck with that, BM.
Good luck with that, BM. There's a very long wait for subsidized housing in CA.
Ive heard its loooooooong
But shes got nothing....but time....
My BB oldest Ss
My oldest SS asked for mine and my 3 BDs ss# when he was entering the army. Over FB. Said his recruiter needed them for safety reasons. I told DH hell no to that. My first thought was it's was BM looking for do major damage. DH was agitated beyond belief at my stance. I said you talk to the recruiter directly then but you are not going thru an alienated skid with that information. OSS thru a fit he didn't win this fight, thru out some guilt and that was pretty much the nail in the coffin for OSS. He was out after that.
As for my own bios, I gave them all that paperwork when they graduated high school. Between jobs and college, I didn't need that headache of always digging it out.
SS# can be used to set up credit card accounts. Would BM do that her own kid? Ruin her credit rating before she's of legal age to have one herself?
No info until it's explained in satisfactory fashion.
Rite of passage
For my mother, she was always the "keeper of personal information", so she was always the go to when ANYONE of the family needed the SS#, due to family businiess. When we graduated high school she deemed us mature enough to recieve the documentation. Other wise she filled things out for us, or gave it as needed.
BM wanted it for applying for section 8 subsidized housing, She is definitely a fraudster. Lies about everything. She texted DH last night for it too. I then asked Munchkin to hold off to the next morning as it was our wedding anniversary. Not that we were doing anything special (a few shots!) but I just wanted that little "couple bubble" with out toxic Troll and her minions.
OMg. Your DH realy and truly expected you to hand over YOUR OWN KIDS social to a Stepkid??? For "security reasons"
Yipes thats a hard no and a konk on the head.
I texted Munchkin with a looooooong lecture about how identities are stolen and how its a struggle to get them back once they are stolen. Told her how the social is used to open bank accounts and credit cards, college applications, car loans and home loans to name a few. told her to guard it HEAVILY.
Thats all I can really do.
DH can put a block on her SS#
DH can put a block on her SS# with the credit rating companies. You should look into it.
Great one!
Ill ask him if he is interested.
If her mother is too F'n
If her mother is too F'n stupid to know where to find her own childs SSN, then the 14yo has no need for it.
Dad needs to put this back on BM.... since he apparently does not know where to find the SSN of his young daughter either.
smh
Munchkins take on it
- Your more organized (she knows how to butter me up)
- I thought it would be easier (not as buttery).
My husband is very dependant on me, and munchkin sees how we have managed very well under my direction and organization and perhaps there is a modicum of respect???
My mother has always been the "keeper of information" for everyone - the go to...my legacy I guess.
But its lame right?
And yeah, her mother is really quite stupid, but somehow has managed to convince doctors that she is disabled with a 4-year old head injury, and now MS.
So she gets money for disability, food stamps of 500, has applied for section 8 housing, gets child support, and up until march was getting spousal support. Plus does work on the side...plus keeps bragging about a million-dollar payoff for her afore mentioned head injury...
SMDH. I still have to watch my back...
I would hope that her pay out
I would hope that her pay out on her head injury appens soon. That should give DH some grounds for a recalc of CS where his goes to a pittance ... if your state uses the Income Shares method of CS calculation.
Sadly, once she gets the money Munch is likely lost to that vortex of genetic refuse since TT will have the resources to completely alienate DH.