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Munchausen syndrome by proxy

Ms_Patricia's picture

I’m wondering if my SD’s (7) bio mom is making up SD’s symptoms of being sick. She has made claims in the past about a year ago to my DH that SD is hearing impaired and has acid reflux. When SD is with us, we have not witnessed anything that would cause us to believe that she has any illness. In fact, she eats like a grown man. BM has texted my DH a couple of months ago saying that SD is throwing up and she’s not eating. She then tells him that the doctor wants to put a camera tube down her throat to get a diagnosis. My DH thinks she is crazy for making these statements but doesn’t seem to do anything about it. My DH was supposed to pick her up yesterday evening to be with us for the weekend but BM said that she had a stomach bug. So then my DH picks her up this morning instead. Of course I have concerns because if SD really does have a stomach bug, she needs to stay away from our kids until she is better. Well DH got chic fil a for the kids and SD gobbled it down without a problem. Then I see her hanging around my baby, so I asked her “are you sick?” She said no.

I’ve been reading about Munchausen syndrome by proxy, and this sounds very much like what BM is doing. Anybody experienced this?

TwoOfUs's picture

Not with physical ailments, but I fel like BM "diagnosed" OSD with a whole bunch of mental ailments in order to have more control over her (and my DH) and keep the kid away from her dad sometimes. According to BM, OSD had anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts...severe social anxiety, etc. 

Everything was all about OSD all the time. What about OSD? Will she be able to go on this trip/to this restaurant/to this school, etc. BM insisted on OSD changing to the school she teaches at because the one she was going to (and where her brother was) was "giving her anxiety" -- of course, that school wqs much better and very close to us...the school she moved her to was closer to BM's house and BM was there every day. 

Miraculously, when OSD moved out of her mom's house, she turned into a fairly normal, high-functioning, productive member of society in about 6 was like she had to go through a bit of a detox before her real personality came through. Now...she jokes about how her mom "makes her crazy." Which I think is even more true than she realizes. 

SteppedOut's picture

This is so sad... and I firmly believe mental illness can be "taught" by parents. I'm glad your sd escaped. 

Thisisnotus's picture

BM in my case also does this. The two kids have been to every doctor and even hospital for NOTHING. She even took SD 15 to the gynecologist for nothing. She loads them with prescription medication. I am 39 years old and in the last two months the step kids have taken more medicines than I have in my entire life.

sd 11 has major anxiety so BM likes to play on that.

Thisisnotus's picture

Yeah her mom has definitely made her anxious. I’ve said it in other posts but poor SD11 is too afraid to even stay at friends houses anymore. And it’s part that Sd is getting older and realizes mom is a pass out alcoholic so probably feels she needs to take care of mom....causing even more anxiety.

Ms_Patricia's picture

SD in on my husband’s insurance. If he has paid any co-pays or so called medical expenses. He must be hiding this because I haven’t seen those expenses come out of our bank account. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Please feel free to read any of my bogs about my SS and medical issues. We deal with this on an extreme level. It gets scarier and scarier the more BM gets away with. At this point my SS has none of the following but are all documented in some medical records or school record:



Elhors-danlos syndrome 

Juvenile Arthritis