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Money Irritation

Mrs. December's picture

I don't know how everyone else's situation is, but as far as "random" stuff kids need, like money for this trip, that trip, sports sign ups, on and on and on it's a pain in the ass in my house. I can't say anything to DH because he only sees it as "helping his kids" Not, why the hell can't BM pay for shit? We have kids 75% of the time, so believe me, we support them very, very much as we should, but I think the extras should go both ways with both parents. Anyhow, if I say to DH, if you just paid $75 for football for SS9, why do you have to pay $50 for SD12 field hockey? If the CO says BM pays all co-pays because you pay insurance, why do we keep getting billed and you feel you might as well pay because "it's a joke trying to ask her" One of the things I hate most about step life is feeling like you always have to keep you mouth shut or even if you speak you're not heard anyhow.

As far as my DDs and my X, he's horrible too. If I ask him to help me pay this or that extra for either of our girls he starts giving me a numbered list of every minute thing he's done for them in the last year!! So worthless talking to him too!.

I truly can say, if there was such a think as a "preview" of real step life and not just a cute little Brady Bunch show, I wouldn't be where I'm at, I wouldn't have even considered it.

classyNJ's picture

^^THIS^^ We pay EVERYTHING on top of the CS. ALL sports, travel, school supplies, etc are paid by us. The only thing I have to say is thank goodness our bills get paid on time and there is always a little budgeted for "us" time whether a night out, dinner or cheap night of case of beer, vodka and redbull on our deck.

Mrs. December's picture

It's just hard for us with 4 kids in the house and both BM and my XH only have the 2 in each of their homes. Plus, my job is production based and when there isn't work, I don't even make any money!

Glad to know I'm not alone though, I will say that much! Thanks!!

Downtowncrabby's picture

What drives me nuts is dh pays for sports cuz skids wanna play and bm says she will pay him back. 99 bucks later still havent seen it. Plus bm doesnt care if kids make practice or go to games cuz bm lives 10 min away from fields. Dh doesnt care eithee if kids play or not... waste of money. Another thing is bm wont buy growing son new shoes until school year. So all summer skid is in holey shoes that dont fit and complains about sore feet. But bm has new clothes and nails and crap for her... also bm wont take kuds to dentist cuz she has no time and both kids complain about tooth ache. So i made appointment and she called and cancelled it cuz she didnt wanna make a 10 min drive. Both skids dont and wont brush daily unless forced... and won't wear deodorant unless told... ive tried to helo but they dont care so they stink and are always eating candy.

young_stepmomma25's picture

Because some parents dread that nasty N word. They don't want to say it to their kids because of that guilt trip they'll be taking later.

Cocoa's picture

unless you're doing everything possible in holding your ex's feet to the fire, there's nothing you can do to force your dh to hold bm's to it. if you are, you will need to have a very serious financial discussion with your dh. this would be a hill to die on for me. not one friggin penny over child support. if she won't contribute, the skids don't get it. period. your family's security should (savings/retirement) come before ANY child's wants or extra-curriculars. priorities.

Cocoa's picture

see, this would never happen in our home. ss gets exactly what his mother and father can afford. I have no problem going to a carnival and having dh pay for every ride, games, and food item while I have a pocketful of money and buy what I want. when dh is out of money, it's time to go home. and, believe me, he would have less than $100 in his pocket.