So now that FIL has moved and it's no longer as easy for him to host DH's family events at his place, DH's sister has started to host the odd one - she will only host one's for Father's Day, never bother if it's DH's birthday for example, definitely not for mine, but even for DH's daughters - her own nieces -she figures that's up to FIl or DH I guess (Although when it's HER birthday then she literally demands that "DH" host it - whole other post could write a book on the last time she pulled that one).

Anyway, her way of planning the event is to have a message passed on to DH via DH's eldest daughter which tells, not asks, DH exactly the date, time, place (her place) that it's being held and what dishes 'DH' is to bring

Of course DH's sister thinks that any dishes to be prepared, especially the veggie one she said DH was to bring, will be prepared by me. DH will expect naturally that I'll do this too. DH's sister or daughter would never show the respect to me to ask me directly, not even to include me in the conversation, not even if I'm right there beside DH, they will still address the request directly to DH, speaking only to him, not so much as glancing in my direction

So I guess they're all in for a surprise when it won't happen. Since the second-hand message was conveyed to 'DH' about what 'DH' is supposed to prepare and bring, if DH doesn't do this (and it's highly unlikely he would remember and even if he does remember will never get that right, just not his thing) then it won't happen. At best DH might show up with a store-bought macaroni salad if he remembers "he" was supposed to bring a veggie dish at all. And then there is the meat dish. Not sure who DH is supposed to be buying the meat dish for either so who knows how this will work out

I'm sure when we arrive with nothing and DH's sister is ticked off about it, DH will ask ME why I hadn't brought the dishes/prepared the dishes/reminded him about the dishes

My response will be "Really? I seriously don't recall your sister or daughter having any conversation with me at all about anything, ever, let alone dishes that 'I' was supposed to bring" "I'm sorry, but when were they talking to me about this?"

Works two ways