MIL from Hell
My MIL is a complete nightmare. She undermines my DH constantly and has made lots of derogatory and racially abusive remarks to me (DH white, I am asian)
At the last occasion at their home it was so bad that I decided I should just leave earlier then planned in order to not escalate the situation. When my DH and I got to leave she stood in front of me and said you can’t leave until this is sorted out and would not let me pass. It escalated and my DH has to physically stand between us because she is so aggressive - I became very upset and left. The SD was upstairs (sulking) and asked MIL what happened so she promptly burst into tears and said I was being abusive to her in her home - what a psycho manipulative bi**h!
MIL used to be in an extreme religious Cult in her late 20s/early 30s and married a man who was also part of the group. They had my DH and then divorced. She has always treated my DH as ‘second class’ - maybe he reminds her of her Ex, who knows? She also found out about some abuse when he was younger and did nothing - the abuse then persisted for years and has had a massive impact - something that she’s totally clueless about because she is SO self-centred.
MIL encourages bad behaviour in both of The SDs and then tries to ‘help them’ she makes it impossible to have any sort of boundaries - she always acts like she is mother to SDs; she’s failed at parenting, quite spectacularly already, she is always over compensating but always she’s achieved in spoiling them to a point SDs are selfish, rude and obnoxious - really difficult people to be around and certainly not people I would ever choose to associate with.
MIL has gone way overboard with her racial comments this time saying that an ill black baby should have died so a white baby can be treated in that hospital bed - she is a total and utter POS !!!! I’ve never been so angry at another person - she is a real despicable excuse for a human
At least my DH witnessed this and now realised what a POS his own mother is. It is extremely difficult for him as she has never really accepted him for who he is and refuses to tell him anything about his biological father.
I have totally disengaged from MiL and toxic SDs for the last 3 months. Any suggestions what I can do to help me and DH cope with our current set up? Thankfully they live about 1 hour drive away and I have point blank said to DH that none of them are welcome in my home so I don’t need to see them - however, he’s being traumatised by them on alternate weekends. I have deleted and blocked them all on all social media etc
i am worried about events like Xmas (I know it’s months away!) - we have SDs on alternate Xmas but I don’t want them in my home. Also they have bedrooms here (that they stay in 2 nights per year - I know some of you will say I’m v lucky!!) I’m thinking of converting the rooms - one is earmarked for a future nursery! Although MIL will have an issue with 50% brown baby - she can kiss my skinny brown butt - she’ll see any child of mine over my dead body!
do others have a MIL that intefers in the DH/SM/SKids relationship to the point it is beyond repair??