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This mess!!!!

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

SS has ADHD and is severely behind in math and ELA. He failed 1st grade (after being diagnosed a little over halfway through the year) so BM decided to go to court (after running off with her boyfriend leaving husband and child3 years prior) for custody (and somehow got it) which just happened to coincide with the timing of BD getting married again (coincidence, right?) for the last 3 school Terms, nothing has been down to help him improve academically. We have all gone to the school, had meetings with his teachers, talked about different ways to help him, yet at the end of the day nothing gets done. He failed math (and barely passed ELA last year) and as of progress reports (4.5 weeks into the school year), he already has a 64 in math and 41 in ELA.  Over the summer, I got him workbooks and activities to work on his weaknesses, but none of it ever got done at her house. SS’s teacher this year offers free tutoring every week for all 4th grade students. Hewas supposed to be staying for FREE tutoring with HIS TEACHER after school yesterday. I even texted her to remind her Tuesday night. Then BM texted me and said that She was told the teacher had cancelled tutoring. So I asked her who told her that and she said “the school”. But I had already called the school and the office had no knowledge of that (if tutoring was cancelled or not). So I emailed his teacher and she said that tutoring was not cancelled but nobody stayed. He currently has a 64 in math...

I can’t with this mess this year!!

Frustrated4ever's picture

You sound like an amazing SM for caring so much - and likely banging your head against the wall dealing with the other people. I had a similar situation when my DD got conned in to living with her dad. I only wish her SM would have been as invovled as you!  I spent hours setting up tutoring, talking with teachers, the guidance counselor etc. and her dad and SM never once followed through.  Does BM play on your sympathy to take over her duties ?

 

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

Thank you. I really do try!!!as far as I’m concerned he’s mine, I just didn’t give birth to him. It definitely so far as brought more pain than reward though. I don’t think she does. She’s more obsessed with appearing to be a good mom than just going ahead and being a good mom. Drives me nuts! Still he has his father and I in his corner always so he’s got a fighting chance (hopefully)! Did things get better with your DD? 

TheEvilStepmomStrikesBack's picture

At this point there’s really not too much he can do. At our home I’m in charge of academics (simply because I’m better at it). However BM has physical custody and we can’t make her do anything. He can make suggestions and ask but ultimately the final decision belongs to her. Unfortunately at the moment going to court is out of the question, but hopefully we can soon because this is beyond frustrating! I don’t understand how you can sit and allow ONE of your children to fail and you be ok with it. The doesn’t do these things with her child by her current boyfriend. I guess she has to teach him right so the dude will stay. 

Rags's picture

You can’t fix stupid and you can’t shoot the stupid BM.  Dad is going to have to continuously battle for the best interests if this kid and you and he are going to have to keep BM’s ass bare in court, at school, etc.... to protect this young from his idiot BM.

Good luck.