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mediation question

SMof2Girls's picture

DH's CO states that any disagreements should be addressed first with a parenting coordinator, then a mediator if no resolution is found. All costs are to be split. Last resort is filing in court, but both alternatives have to be exhausted first.

They are seeing a coordinator today over a simple issue. BM sent an email last night saying she would attend but that she wouldn't be paying since DH is the one insisting they go. Whatever. DH is not paying her share, so hopefully she'll show up and refuse to pay. That will look GREAT on her.

Anyway .. I'm not expecting any resolution today. So we know mediation will be the next step.

But here's my question. I KNOW BM will drag her feet. DH will request it. BM will say she can't afford it and try to push it out several months. Or she'll claim she has no schedule availability. Or she doesn't agree on the mediator he's selected.

So how do you prevent that? What's a reasonable period of time to expect mediation to be completed from when you request it? The agreement is silent on this issue, but I would think there is some "reasonableness standard" that DH could apply before just filing in the court because she's refusing to reasonably mediate .. right?

SMof2Girls's picture

Apparently BM's primary concern, as voiced to the coordinator, was that "officially" giving DH the schedule they already follow would result in a decrease in her CS.

SMof2Girls's picture

That's okay. Sometimes just writing it all out is therapy enough Smile

They did agree on the Sunday issue in the coordinator session. The primary reason being that DH said he would not pursue a change in CS based on this one change. The impact on CS was minimal; BM just didn't realize it.

The good thing (that I didn't know beforehand), is that coordinators can be subpoenaed to court to comment on their assessments, agreements they've witnessed, and their recommendations. Unlike mediators who cannot. They are scheduled to go back in a few months to check and see how things are working out. I tell ya, they've got a great business going there ...

Rags's picture

If she delays mediation DH should go directly to court. She delays, she pays by having to go to court as the one playing games.