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This made me laugh so hard...kinda long, sorry

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

SS6 has been attending counseling sessions for behavior issues and so far the counselor is just allowing SS6 to talk freely. She asks questions and SS6 talks, and boy does he love to talk.

Lately we have noticed that BM is trying to strut her stuff and exert her power, power which she doesn't have, more than
usual. I've had to give DH a piece of my mind about him acquiescing to her authority when she has no authority and he has turned into something of a gentle attack dog about it.

For example, after SS first session last week, DH text to let BM know that SS would be seeing a counselor so that she wouldn't have to hear about it from SS. BM called on a rant about DH not including her and blah blah blah, DH cut BM off, told BM that he doesn't have to include her and then DH gave BM the name and number of the counselor. Before my chat with DH, he would have listened to BM whining, probably apologized a few times and then felt bad about it for a few days.

Well, when DH took SS for his second visit, the counselor was out front waiting for DH. She had a story to tell. Apparently BM called the counselor and told the counselor that BM never consented to the sessions. The counselor told BM, get this, "ma'am, I've read his court order and nowhere does it say that he has to get your permission". (BOOM!!!!!!!) Blum 3

BM then went on to say "BM needs a copy of whatever notes or report the counselor makes"...and the counselor replied "ma'am your attorney is welcome to file the necessary paperwork to get what they need". (BOOM!!!!!!!) Blum 3

BM ignored that, because as DH and I know, BM parents paid for an Atty to represent BM at the initial hearing, but they weren't willing to keep him on, at least not up until this point.

So BM continues spouting fire through the phone telling counselor, "I have a right to know what is being said and I should be able to talk to you too just like DH can" to which the counselor replied "you are more than welcome to come into the office, I'll even schedule you an appointment right now, our fees are $$ and we accept most forms of insurance". (BOOM!!!!!!!) Blum 3

At this BM was so upset that she said "thank you" and hung up.

I told DH that BM just proved our point for us. BM is hardly concerned about the kids, because if she were she would have called the counselor to say "I have these concerns and wanted to know if you will be addressing these things". Instead BM called expecting the counselor to bend to BM will and reprimand DH for not consulting BM.

I laughed so darn hard while listening to DH tell me this story. But then it got better.

I've always felt like BM struggled with showing interest in the kids, mostly because before she knew I was in the picture, she left DH claiming not to have wanted a family, and would send messages to say just that to DH phone. Once she knew about me, her interest in the kids suddenly picked up. She would call the house and ask the kids "what are you eating" when the would answer you would think from her response that they were eating filet mignon and every night because no matter what they said she'd respond with 'whhhhaaaaaaaaattttttt' or 'oooohhhhhmyyyyyyyygooooooosh!' or 'wooooooowww are you kidding'....it took everything I had not to bowl over with laughter, I eventually started leaving the room whenever she would call.

Apparently during his last session SS6 was talking about differences between DH and BM and he told the counselor "DH is more fun that BM, DH tells jokes, laughs at my jokes, and gives me fake high fives on the head but BM doesn't do anything funny, she laughs too hard at my jokes that aren't very funny and when the jokes are funny she just says 'whhhhaaaaaaaaattttttt' or 'oooohhhhhmyyyyyyyygooooooosh!' or 'wooooooowww are you kidding'. :jawdrop:

HA! Even the 6 year old can tell that BM reaction isn't right. BM tries so darn hard but even he can see that its wrong. I told DH that I hope the counselor puts SS exact words down for BM to read. She'll blow her top I'm sure.

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

This counselor seems to have everything under control and SS has a place to go and talk about whatever is on his mind so I'm quite happy with her so far.

Goodness is right! DH is finally getting back his manhood. It was either that or lose me. I can't respect a man who wants to be head of my house but then bows down to a woman outside of the house. Smile

Drac0's picture

Keep this councelor!

Your SS6 sounds like a bright kid. We took my SS to see the child psychologist at that age and he just clams up, especially when the discussion turns to his father. Even now he won't talk very much with the therapist and needs prodding to discuss things.

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

Awww I hope things get better for your SS dealing with counselor.

SS6 is the kind of kid who never meets a stranger so we felt he would be okay. Turns out we were right.

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

Don't get me wrong, we still have our crazy BM days, but I'm definitely marking this in the "winning" column.

momto3's picture

This counselor rocks! Good for her to put BM in her place, sounds like exactly what she needed.

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

She really does rock! If I'd been there I probably would have tried to give her a high five. Smile

unbelieveable's picture

Wink I am SO glad your DH isn't TOO stubborn to get the kid counseling...mine onthe other hand...GRRRR

Step-Volgirl's picture

DH and I haven't been married long and DS11 and SD9 are still adjusting to losing their only child status. DS11 has taken it on as his job to help SD9 learn the rules that have always been in place for him. I've set up an appointment for DH, DS and myself to see a therapist to help us adjust. Unfortunately, we do have to have BM sign off on therapy and she doesn't think it's "fair" to have SD9 seeing someone I know. (Backstory - I work in the mental health field and the counselor has led several seminars at work, so I know her enough to trust her judgment, but not well enough to be a conflict of interest.) Hopefully, once we have a few sessions, DH and I will have enough tools to help SD9 without her actually having to attend. or better, hopefully, DH will have enough tools to see that SD9 would greatly benefit from therapy for a little while. In the last 3 years, she's moved 4 times with her mom, started 3 new schools, dealt with BM's 2nd marriage and divorce and her relationships with guy#2 and guy#3, dealt with lots of BM's "illnesses". On our end, there was our wedding and we've moved twice. Not as much change as BM, but still lots of changes for a 9 yr old.

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

Wow, that's rough, for SD and it sucks that your DH has to have BM sign off. Hopefully like our situation, the counselor will be helpful, but will also have good boundaries and be able to stick to them.
BM is still trying to weasel her way into the sessions, but she can't, because the sessions are for SS only, not DH, not me, not even SS8.
I hope the counseling is effective!