Lying and SS....Reasons why
Ok I know kids lie to get out of trouble or lie to do something they want. SS does this too but that's not what I'm talking about here. SS12 lies about weird stuff. Example. SS12 been seeing a Social worker for mood issues for 7 years. DH had a falling out with SS12 therapist about 3 years ago( long story) so DH stop attending the appointments with SS and BM. SS12 knows DH dislikes this therapist. About one year ago SS told DH he refused to talk to this therapist and not seeing her anymore. Well this is a lie as BM is still sending copies of the copays to DH for Reimbursement. Now DH never told SS he wanted SS to stop seeing her so why is he lying about not going?
SS12 is also on medicine for his ADHD. DH does not like SS on this medicine as it causes SS to not eat well. Well SS told DH he stopped taking the medication when BM gives it to him and throws it in the trash. DH called BM and asked if she knew this. BM said SS was lying to DH about throwing away the medication as she watches SS take it. After DH told BM this BM was extra watchful and said SS was Definitely swallowing the medicine and not throwing it out. So again WHY is SS lying to DH about throwing his medicine away?
ADHD and trying to please dad
My SS is on the spectrum and also with ADHD. He lies about obvious things that can be caught right away all the time too.
Sometimes it's simply because he didn't even hear the question, but I think most of the time SS lies to feel he has control over the situation. I think your SS could be lying about his med for this specific reason, that and trying to please his dad.
Not rocket science.
SS, like most 12yos, is a pleaser. He is trying to please his dad. Of course he says it was the other kid's fault when he gets in trouble at school. Of course he says he brushed his teeth when he didn't because he knows that is what dad wants to hear.
My SS was a pleaser as well. So much so that he would answer any question posed to him in the positive before the question was completely stated. So, I quit asking him questions because I was tired of the pleasing lies. Instead I gave him a call to action by demanding that he show me. Instead of "Did you finish your home work?" I told him to show me his homework. Instead of "Did you brush your teeth?" I made him show me his teeth. If they were yellow and fuzzy he went back to brush his teeth as long as it took for them to be clean. Eventually we went to the chewable red dye pills that stain dirty teeth and he had to brush and brush and brush until there was not any hint of pink in his mouth. He learned not to lie. It was harder to lie than to tell the truth.
One infuriating thing that he did regularly was to complete his homework then not turn it in. So, we implemented sentences. Tens of thousands of them over the years.
"I will do my homework as assigned and I will turn it in on time." Thousands and thousands of times in perfect handwriting, perfect grammar, perfect punctuation, perfect spelling at a rate of ~180/hour. If he was not at school, sports or with us on a family outing he was writing sentences. No TV, no video games, no nothin except the daunting assignment of several thousand sentence. It worked great. It focused him on the message, it got him out of our hair so we did not have to strangle him, and it gave the clear message that if he was screwing around when it was time to work he could work when it was time to have fun and relax. To this day the kid has the most beautiful handwriting.
SS-12 knows his dad does not like the therapist and does not like the meds. He is lying to gain favor and bond with dad. Dad needs to grow up and act like an adult. SS is 12. He is lying to present himself as he has experienced his father behaving.
Like father... like son. Or at least son trying to look like his father. Daddy walked out of therapy, son lies to dad that he has walked out of therapy as well. Daddy makes it clear that he does not like the meds son is on, son lies and says he spits them out.
This is not rocket science.
The brushing the teeth, homework, in trouble at school fibs are just a 12yo pleaser trying to please rather than disappoint daddy.