Long Time Away
I am just having one of those days I need to rant!!!
Last weekend SD14 comes over, telling us how her and BM are going on vacation on our next weekend visiation. They are leaving Friday morning, and driving 16 hours to go to a wedding. Then coming back Sunday morning. First off doesn't that sounds awful!!! I think most of the trip is going to be driving, they are not even getting a hotel they are just sleeping in the car, BM, SD14, BM daughter thats 2 and then BM new hubby.
So DH tells her 1st off he is okay with her going, its his time with her, he only has EOW to start with. And honeslty its no one SD knows wedding, and its a stupid to drive that far for a wedding then have to come right back. (its one of BM's co-workers or something no clue why she is going)
So DH tells BM well she can switch weekends and come over this one than go to wedding next, and be on normal schedule after that. BM said no they had plans this weekend and she isn't messing them up for DH.
I am so annoyed BM can change weekends, make weekends missed, refuse to work with us and its okay.
In the last year we have asked to switch one weekend and BM refused! I had a small procedure done at the hospital, DH had to drive me wait and all that on a Saturday. DH asked to change weekends becasue he knew SD14 didnt want to sit at hospital all day, and I was not going to feel good at all. BM refused, she said I should of planned better. ( I did have it for a non SD weekend but something came up doctor cancled and that weekend I ended up having it was only other time I could get in for a while, so i took it.)
DH didnt want to miss his little time so he ended up getting her hoping for the best. She was a total brat all weekend, she was mad she had to go to hosptial with us, she was mad DH had to take care of me. For some reason it really was bad I was sick sick sick for like a week after. He did great by the way but he wouldnt leave the house. SD wanted to go do stuff, wanted to go shopping and sitting at home just wasnt fun.
I am just so annoyed, because right now we are sitting her thinking BM just gets to call all of the shots. And now SD is getting the same attitude, SD will say she isnt coming unless A or B happens. Or she has plans, or she rather stay at a friends house. But as soon as BM or SD need help with money (power getting shut off, SD needs new shoes, SD phone broke) they both have their hands out!
Rant over,
I remember those days.
I remember those days. Frankly, I was glad when my SD stopped coming over, at all, when she was about 16. Before that, she started canceling visits to do things with BM's family, and when she did come over, she had a bad attitude.
Sixteen hours to travel to a wedding and sleeping in the car? Some "vacation".
I agree I am sorry if I am
I agree I am sorry if I am driving 16 hours it better be worth it lol.
I know she will stop coming over soon, but i think i am more annoyed BM gets to make all the calls.
Ditto. I felt bad for DH when
Ditto. I felt bad for DH when SS stopped coming over, but man, was it ever nice to take vacations without having BM ruin them, not spend every visitation weekend wondering if we'd deal with the police, or have SS texting his mother about how mean DH was all weekend.
I do not miss those days.
SD14 will text BM everytime
SD14 will text BM everytime DH or I spend a dollar. Heck the other weekend I bought something for like 100.00 and BM text DH that if we can afford those things we should pay her more. Well 1st off it was my money and 2nd off NO lol!
BM has to know everything about our host, all the time. And SD14 loves to tell her its annoying.
Join the club! This is a
Join the club! This is a normal occurance at my house. There is always someting where BM needs to take the kids on DH's weekend. I feel like my DH never "really" has his kids....cause BM is always there lurking in the shadows trying to pick them up or plan something else or just overall be in the way.
The funny thing is that even when we plan stuff on DH"s weekend with the kids....BM gets mad and throws a fit and causes problems. So she can take the kids anywhere and everywhere whenever she wants....even on DH's parenting time....but DH takes them somewhere on HIS parenting time and OMG the world is over.
Start with the contempt
Start with the contempt filings. Do them yourself.
Have him write an e-mail and send a certified mailing that he is not agreeing to the weekend switch. Then file if she take SD anyway. Do it every single time. Eventually it will stop but he has to MAKE her stop.
This is misguided advice,
This is misguided advice, honestly - you see how court works. It could take multiple appearances and BM will get a little slap on the wrist and then do it again immediately. There are no teeth in family court. My DH tried and tried to hold BM accountable, but every time, she came out smelling like roses.
Then what else can you do?
Then what else can you do? There has to be a start somewhere....
truthfully i dont think there
truthfully i dont think there is anything that can be done. But is it awful I want DH to be mean to BM. Finally just tell the old hag off lmao!! I am in a bad mood today I guess
My SD once cancelled because
My SD once cancelled because her brother was getting out of jail. I told DH, "Big deal, it's not the first time and it won't be the last, she can celebrate with him the next time."
I don't think there is
I don't think there is anything you can do, quite honestly. You can waste a lot of time and money trying to enforce it in court, only to have BM do it again and again. Once they realize there are no consequences, court becomes just useless and expensive.