Depends on who holds or "owns" the policy.  If he holds the policy then he can change the beneficiary at any time without telling you.  You will have no idea until he actually dies and then you get a nasty surprise if it turns out that you were cut off one day after an argument and he never changed it back.  If you are the holder of it and in full control - in other words, once it is purchased it belongs to you and the beneficiary can not be changed unless you let it lapse - then you are protected so long as you continue to pay the policy or make sure that he keeps paying it.

  If anything happens to him then you cash the policy and walk away without having to deal with any issues related to the estate or relatives which is often hell on earth.  Especially if it is an estate worth millions and there will likely be years worth of lawsuits even if there is a clear will.   With an insurance policy, you put the money in your pocket, that part of your life in your rear view mirror, and drive away.  That is a much better option if you ask me.

If you are healthy and still have a good few years working then a million dollars is a very significant sum that will mean you can live a very comfortable life. Even if you don't work then you can live on a million dollars for quite some time. Both options may mean having a more modest lifestyle than you have now, but you will be a million miles away from destitue. So yes to me you do sound unreasonable to want more of a share of money that is not yours from a man who is still married to someone else. Presumably his wife was around and supported him and their family while he was acruing that $10 million. She may well be awarded a large sum of it in their divorce. When he divorces and marries you, then I would expect that his ex-wife recieves nothing and that he leaves his money mainly to you and his kids - but you are not quite there yet. 

A life insurance policy can be changed easily, but so can a will. At least if his wife and kids are catered for in his will they are unlikely to try to grab the insurance policy benifits from you. Seems like it would be best to be left out of the will until he is divorced officially. A life insurance policy seems like an easy solution. 

If you are worried about your boyfriend dying and not leaving you anything then start planning what you would do if it happened tomorrow. You would have some sort of rights to stay in the house temporarily until his estate evicted you (so that is probably at least 30 days). In that time you could sort out some sort of accomodation for yourself and pack up your things. You would have your $100 000 which is more than enough to put down a first and last on a modest apartment. You could then use that money to pay the bills while you look for a job. Even with a recession hitting you could probably find a job within 12 months. Imagine you find a place for $2000 dollars a month (if you live in a super expensive area you may have to move somewhere cheaper). So lets say you spend $4000 on securing the apartment and another $4000 in moving costs and new furniture. Then you will have $92000. If you wanted to stretch that for 12 months it gives you over $7500 a month so $5500 after rent. That is far from the breadline and if you were careful you could stretch it significantly longer than 12 months - most people live on far less. You could half that budget and stretch that money beyond 24 months if you wanted and didn't mind living frugally in a cheaper place. But hopefully you will find a job within 12 months. Obviously there are other ways you could do things, but having a 12 - 24 month safety net is not to be ignored. 

Stop feeling like it will be the end of the world to be on your own. You have your own means and you have your own brain. You will not be destitute and you will make things work. If the worst happens it will not be emotinally easy and it may make a big dent in your savings but you will survive to get yourself back on your feet and make yourself self sufficient. You do not need this man or his millions. It is generous of him to offer to get a life insurance policy with your name on it. I would graciously accept it. When you two set a wedding date then it will be time to address his will. A pre-nup so that you both know what the situation is may be a wise idea. 

In the mean time. Save the money away that you would spend on rent and food if your boyfriend didn't pay for it. Then invest in yourself and your qualifications, your career and your network so that you would stand a better chance of getting a good job if you need to look for one. 

If he is paying her salary, but then is providing food and a home for her right now, she should just be banking all that extra money! Sure, it wouldn't be as nice of a home or lifestyle I guess as her bf has made her accustomed to, but he is not her husband yet, he is her bf. Due to the COVID-19, sure I thought what if my bf died? But my thoughts, never go to money, sure he doesn't have millions, but even then my thoughts are, but then we never got to have our life together we have been planning. I never would of been able to marry the love of my life, I never would be able to have children with him, I never would be able to get old with him, etc. NEVER money. Plus if he does take out a life insurance policy, that is pretty damn considerate considering everything. Who cares what his ex gets, sounds like they were married for a LONG time and fully raised their children till adulthood. I'm sorry, but when they have been married that long, then to some point, yes BM should get x,y, and z. You can't even compare your relationship to theirs and think that you should get equal. Usually not on BM's side about this, but I haven't heard of (maybe just didn't read enough), but that BM cheated or took advantage or anything that would constitute her as deserving nothing.

Also, I would never be okay with being "engaged" while my bf is not yet divorced. Hell, i don't even want to get engaged until months after the divorce decree is finalized. I know I am not his rebound, but I still want space separating the divorce and our engagement. 

my pint is dont promise and not delver. dont tell me I will be taken care of and its our home when its his.

Don't rely on his promises, you do for YOU and make sure that you are financially independent, NOT dependent on him.

He is looking out for himself (and rightly so) and you should look out for yourself.

If he left you tomorrow, told you the relationship is over and you need to get out of his house, then what?

If he is willing to take out a 1 MILLION DOLLAR policy on himself for you- be happy. You are just a girlfriend. He is still married. If you can't figure your life out with a MILLION dollars- you have more issues than being the 2nd wife. 

It does appear that he is considering your support in the event of his demise.  $1Mil in life insurance that will go to you is not insignificant.

What his STBXW gets has yet to be determined.  Once the divorce is final, unless stipulated in the divorce, he can dump the $4Mil policy.

Details of the situation aside... you are the other woman.  Never forget that.  His character should always be suspect considering he is still married to someone else. Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Keep that in mind.  If he cheated on her with you, the odds are he will cheat on you with someone else at some point.

Good luck.

I gave great thought to this.

Why only 1Mil?

Thats kinda cheap.

For you to feel secure with the life insurance policy you MUST be named the owner. That gives you all rights. You would be the owner & beneficiary and you fiance will have NO RIGHTS to change anything on it. If he is paying for it you will need to stay on top of things to make sure the payments are paid.