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Let's play a game...

PolyMom's picture

Let's keep score of who has the worst BM!!

I'll go first.

She told my mother-in-law that DH killed himself so he wouldn't have to go to jail for being SS14's drug dealer. What is that, 10 points? 50 points?

What, the ever living fuck. (sorry for the profanity)

PolyMom's picture

I"m just beyond fed up and tried to spin it into a game. I've already lost so much, and I still have to hear about it. Ugh.

Acratopotes's picture

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: WTF... that's like 5 gold stars and million points, I will never be able to beat that Poly.

Seriously you have to block this woman and YSS of ever contacting you, they are toxic people hon, you do not need this in your life..

PolyMom's picture

I know. I made it clear to her she is to have no contact with us or I would pursue an OOP against her. She went whining to my mother in law who called me to see if she could bring SS over to visit as an alternative. When I explained what had been going on, she said, "Don't even worry about that. This is over. you can't have anything to do with them." She told me a couple of awful things BM said, and they were so upsetting. I feel so bad that MIL feels obligated to listen to her shit because if she doesn't she knows BM will not allow her to see SS11. I told her that's nonsense because she's the grandma, and SS already lost so much, he has a phone and he has her phone number which she pays for. Nothing BM does will be able to really disrupt that or he would run away.

But after some reflection, I started thinking "What kind of asshole would say something like that to the mother of someone who's died?" And then I realized, "Someone who is desperate to take all eyes off her." She was there. She knows exactly how she's behaved all this time. DH always used to say to me "Oh, she's well aware her behavior is awful. And it makes her worse." I think the guilt is consuming her. When she lost her mind to the point DH left her, that was caused by losing foster kids she wanted to adopt being placed with other family members. When she found out she started going out and partying and having random sex in bars and doing drugs, leaving for days at a time with not a word of where she'd gone while DH was left taking care of their two kids (4 and 1 at the time and 3 foster kids, 5, 7 and 10. Even after the foster kids left, she was still gone and he got custody of the boys. This went on for 18 months. It wasn't until I came into the picture that she decided she needed to be back in their lives. (See "I Smile Back"...that was her)

My guess is after DH passed, and SS14 passed, will trigger an even bigger reaction. Mental illness doesn't just "go away", it gets worse over time. I pray every day for SS11's protection and BM's recovery. But there's a massive hurricane coming and it's best for me to be completely away.

Acratopotes's picture

CAn you simply tell MIL, you are not interested in hearing about what ever BM said or what SS wants,

You are not family anymore with the passing of DH and you want nothing to do with them, also if MIL valued her grandson that much, why is she not reporting abuse to authorities, cause BM is abusing that boy.

I am sorry Poly, but what these people have put you through, I would not even keep contact with MIL, why is MIL telling you anything about BM, that's just plain and simple gossip and looking for drama

PolyMom's picture

Child protective services wouldn't do anything. BM told them that MIL was also assisting SS14 with drugs, blah blah blah. You're right, while I'm not going to burn that bridge, MIL and FIL have put their house on the market and plan to move south closer to SIL and her family. So, soon this will all be over. I don't regularly contact her. Sent her some begonias for mother's day, and MIL contacted me after I told BM not to contact me. We got everything cleared up. I've just put up with this for 8 years. It's a tough thing for me to just "turn it off" when I'm so angry, and blame BM in particular. I'll get there...but it's only been 5 months.

Acratopotes's picture

Hon we are here for you...... you do not have to burn the bridge, but in future if MIL starts talking about BM, simply say,

Mum stop, I want nothing to do with her and I do not care about her life, rather tell me how the begonias are doing Wink

JoanneDyer's picture

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ThatOneMom's picture

She's told him, "I hope you die."

She called my son, who was 10 years old at the time, a "future rapist" because of something that had NOTHING to do with him.

She called my daughter, who was 12 at the time, a "basic white bitch" and a "cunt".

She's never had a job, sucked off of welfare of 17 years, and constantly asks us for more and more money. When we say we don't have it, she insults us, calling US losers.

We didn't know it at the time but she's been using my Netflix account for two years. We cancelled our Netflix and the next weekend, SD came over talking about "for some reason, our Netflix account got shut off and we can't get it to come back on." Weird, lol.

She has four kids by four different men and lives with her mom.

She has a major drug and alcohol problem as well as anger management issues. She will randomly text me and demand money. I've never responded to her.

She constantly makes face social media profiles to stalk me. She's made fake profiles, posing as a man, trying to contact me. She thinks I will cheat on my husband, like she did, and that if she turns me into him, he will leave me, and she will feel better. My oldest SD found all of these profiles on her phone and told me. 

She encourages the kids to spy on us, steal from us, and report back to her. O

One time, she kept youngest SD from us for four months because....I made tuna fish sandwiches and SD wouldn't eat them. We were on a day trip, FFS.

She's pathetic and an embarrassment to women everywhere.