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Lazy Husband

SickNTiredOfIt's picture

Submitted by SickNTiredOfIt on Thu, 02/04/2021 - 9:59pm

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I don’t think my husband wants to work. He always finds these bs temp jobs, and constantly misses work, or finds a reason why it’s not working. We have 4 kids (14,12,11,2) and I truly feel he is content with me doing everything. He talks about how he wants to help, and make things better for me financially but I don’t see it really happening. His actions and works don’t match. He does minimal around the house, sleeps all the time and plays the PlayStation like a 14 yo kid instead of a grown a** man. He constantly makes excuses for why he hasn’t done certain things involving the kids or chores around the house. I’m ready to give up. I don’t know what to do anymore

SickNTiredOfIt's picture

Submitted by SickNTiredOfIt on Sat, 02/06/2021 - 5:44pm

I’m still trying. To figure it out honestly. It’s not like I don’t love him just trying to figure out if he truly love me. 

GrudgingSM's picture

Submitted by GrudgingSM on Thu, 02/04/2021 - 10:40pm

Between this and your other post, I don't see the appeal at all. His daughter is rude and breaks things in the home, he's not contributing to parenting or finances or domestic labor. Give him an ultimatum and stick to it. Don't let him run all over you like his daughter does to him.

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Fri, 02/05/2021 - 12:34am

What exactly do you find attractive about this man?  He sounds like a loser and a user, and a crappy parent who subjects you to his bratty daughter to boot.  Why would you want your children to see you taken advantage of by this man?  I agree with GrudgingSM - give him an ultimatum and follow through.

failuretolaunch's picture

Submitted by failuretolaunch on Fri, 02/05/2021 - 3:19am

LOSER with a capitol LOSER. You know the type, you've seen it in movies plenty of times and probably heard about it so many times.

Basicslly you have allowed him to get away with it, You need clear boundaries and clear expectations of what you expect from him or he leaves / you walk if possible. 
One thing is for sure you can't let this go on.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 02/05/2021 - 7:43am

Has your husband always been like this or is this fairly recent behavior?

Is he taking any kind of anti-depressant or anti-anxiety meds? 

I ask these questions because there IS a possibility that medication could be responsible for this behavior. A former family member was taking an anti-anxiety med and the doctor increased his dose. This medication was something that should only be prescribed for a few months, and he had been taking it for over a year. The dosage increase decreased his anxiety, but it NUMBED him mentally. Like your husband, he mostly slept and played video games. 

I helped him find another doctor who put him on a new medication. He had horrible withdrawal, but the difference was YUGE. He said that - while on the other medication - he had great difficulty just thinking; that it was like mentally trying to slog through waist-high mud. Trying to remember what he should/was supposed to be doing, was giving him headaches. It was so bad that, more and more, he gave up trying and simply played mindless video games.

So if this is fairly recent behavior and your DH is on meds, he should see his physician ASAP.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 02/05/2021 - 9:44am

Watereddown, it WAS Ativan and he had horrible withdrawal, too. His mother was also adicted to that caca. That bloody doctor was a quack (no longer allowed to practice, thank goodness!).