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Lacking sex

keepinit2gether's picture

Went from having sex 2-3 times a day to 2-3 times a week. Im finding myself withdrawing from my marriage..I am turning into a bitter stepmom and wife! I have talked until I just cant talk to dh about it anymore. Its getting to the point that I cant stand a conversation with him.

Its been well over a 1 1/2 years Ive been dealing with the ex and Im tired. Ive talked to him about it all from skids to ex to how he deals with my own kids. He doesnt check his own kids stuff but is all over mine.

Recently hes been so proud because he says things are getting better? They are not getting better ive just been working when skids are here. So am I the problem? My dd said Im a great mom and she is sick of the way skids act, she wants to move to grandmothers house when shes 14. She is abandoning our house when skids are coming, from arranging sleep outs to begging my sisters.

For a while I thought the ex calmed down only to find out hes just been going along with everything she says and not telling me. Lately all I can think about is the damage shes caused and continues to cause and the way she drags me into everything. Anytime skids have a bad day etc.

Sex doesnt feel intimate anymore and Id rather just take care of it myself. Its not that I dont want it or I dont want him..I do, but I cant connect and it feels empty. Im hoping it will pass.

I am at the end of my rope and I dont want to leave because he is definitely the love of my life!! But I cant control the ex and she will never stop!! At one ppoint everything with skids was ok then it went to not great to bad to worse to horrible. Its gotten to the point that just knowing theyre coming makes me literally feeling sick.

I have never been mean to skids but I do not let them treat me like crap..which after the talks they have with their mother is their main goal while in my house. Im just done! I dont even want them here anymore. I feel like im this horrible person for feeling like this.

keepinit2gether's picture

Sex 2-3 times a day meaning a wake up roll and then before bed. My husband has a high sex drive as most men his age do. I normally have a drive to match. Im just trying to figure out if its a stress thing due to all the stuff going on or if Im just messed up hormone wise.

Sex is a physical need! any modern research will show people with high sex drives who have more sex especially married couples have lower stress levels, less headaches and live healthier lifestyles. Men connect on this level and some women as well.

I def appreciate everything he does do. I do not need counseling, I have great coping skills. Was just looking to see if anyone else has gone through a similar phase?

T.O.'s picture

I don't have kids of my own so not sure how that dynamic works .. but my sex drive definitely suffers eow .. and guess what happens eow? yup!! SS is over .. I just realized this past weekend that that's when I'm really just soooo not in the mood and my FDH and I have a really healthy sex drive on a regular.

I haven't spit it out yet as to why I'm suddenly 'soo tired'. I hate being like that .. FDH works shifts so it varies .. but pretty much if he's home 5 nights in a row we have sex every night .. and then not for 5 when he's not there for example. I'm so drained after spending a day either avoiding him, or fakely pretending that his new mannerisms he's picking up don't annoy the shit out of me, or that he has no manners etc. And then @ night the thought of my FDH & BM skanky DNA spawn down the hall is all i can think about and that's definitely a mood killer!

I wouldn't think you're messed up hormone wise .. we're complicated creatures and for the most part, can't just turn it on and off like men if we're stressed, depressed etc. I love to have sex with my FDH and I definitely feel more connected afterwards and it's part of a healthy balanced lifestyle. There's no norm for how many times per day or month is good, each person and couple is different.

I don't think at all you need counselling as an individual but perhaps you'd want to think about you and DH attending together to try and sort through your issues so you can be destressed and back in between the sheets with your hubby!