just wondering if this would be wrong
DH has sought counseling for SS6 and SS8 because of behavior issues (SS6) and general issues dealing with divorce and issues with BM. DH first appointment was this evening so the counselor could interview him and get DH concerns and viewpoint before meeting with Skids. The counselor decided SS6 is the larger "concern" at this point and DH scheduled an appointment for SS6 for next week.
DH asked if I felt like he should text BM to inform that SS6 has the appointment next week. I told DH that I believe BM has a right to know but that I would not let BM know until after Skids return from spending time with BM simply because BM has a history of coaching the skids before her visits with court appointed social workers.
The CO does not require DH to inform BM, but I agree with DH it would be wrong not to and DH should not give BM anything to cause trouble over. However, I don't think it would be so wrong to wait until end of BM time with kids for the week (so DH would not say anything until Sunday).
What do you think?
If the court order does not
If the court order does not require him to tell her I would not tell her squat, especially if she would use it it her advantage to try and coach them.
If BM were only half a cup of
If BM were only half a cup of crazy instead of Big Gulp crazy I'd agree. But BM takes any and every opportunity to claim DH or I have wronged her.
I recall the very first day after the CO was issued, I misunderstood that BM was supposed to get the kids at school dismissal on her days rather than 6:00 pm as it had been for so long before the CO existed. I went by the school to get the kids and BM's mother had the children. By the time I noticed it, I was already in the car drop off line so I had no choice but to stay put. When I got to where the kids and BM's mother were standing I rolled the window down, apologized to the grandmother, told her that I'd misunderstood. BM mother tried to show me the CO and I told her it wasn't necessary. She said okay and I drove away feeling embarrassed.
The next day DH got a call from attorney saying BM filed a grievance against me saying that I "interfered with her custodial right to take possession of the children at the start of her court appointed possession"... :jawdrop:
Since that day, I try not to give BM anything that could even be mistaken as ammunition.
Oh Gosh, BM will not attend
Oh Gosh, BM will not attend the sessions with SS. DH will take care to schedule the visits on his time only I'm sure. Hopefully it will remain this way.
Now that I think about it, I guess my concern with coaching may be valid, but I guess the coaching could happen even after SS has his first appointment. I think I just wanted the counselor to have an "uncoached" session with SS as a baseline so we can get to the real heart of the matter.