Get your own lawyer and file a defamation law suit against her. Nail her with a cease and decist order.  Make it your goal in life to put her in the homeless camp under the local over pass where there is not a snoball's chance in hell the courts will allow her to have visitation.

It has always been mind boggling to me why SParents do not go for the throats of their mate's toxic X.

If a mate whines about their new mate destroying their old mate for the old mate's toxic crap, time for the SParent to let their mate know that that mate is replacable.

As for the SKids, shower them in the facts about their toxic mother. The older they get, the more facts they need.

Some might believe that this is PAS. IMHO, it is not. THe goal is not to alienate the kids from their toxic parent, the goal is to give kids the facts so that they can protect themselves from that toxic parent both as they are growing up, and once the kids reach adulthood. A toxic parent is not going to stop being toxic. The odds of that are just about zero IMHO. The secondary goal fo the give the kids the facts campaign is to defend the relationship that those kids should have with the parent the toxic POS parent is is trying to destroy with actual PAS.

We did this with my SS. While guiding him to be respectful, that his SpermClan were people he should love, while giving the thre truth and facts to counter their lies, etc...  As he matured, he struggled to understand how people who are supposed to love him and that he is supposed to love lied, were toxic, and most difficult was when he found he had no respect for them because of their chose behaviors.

We had his back, we kept their noses scrubbed in the stench they plied, we did not allow them to pull their crap unconfronted.  

Kids who are burdened with THAT type of toxic parent, need the facts.

IMHO of course.

Your first obligation is towards your children. If the skids are lying about you, the next thing they will do is lie about your kids. Either your SO takes all visitation outside of your home, or he moves out. This needs to start now. You are also running the risk of CPS taking your kids if they ever do decide one of the complaints against you is worth investigating. Your are playing with fire and no man is worth it.

I have been in my relationship for 21 years and have been subject to a similar level of parental alienation to you.  I made a decision only a few months into the relationship to never be in a room alone with my two SDs (then aged 5 and 7, now middle 20s) because of false accusations their mother made. DH recently discovered that BM lied to her daughters all these years in saying that he was having an affair with me for 2 years whilst still living with her. This is completely untrue - we didn't get together until after he was living separately from her. 

If you stay living with your boyfriend, you need to be prepared for constant stress that is likely to be indefinite.  To be honest, if someone had shown me the future when I got into this relationship, I would have run a mile.  In your place, I would either end it, or establish separate living arrangements for the two of you. 

I would not put myself or my children at risk due to false skid accusations. BF would have to find another place to see his kids, because they would not be welcome in my home.   If that meant him moving out, so be it. How often does BF have the kids? What is the financial situation? Is he paying expenses at your house and could you do it without him? Maybe having separate places and living together only when skids are with BM would work better for the time being. 

Just FYI, things aren't likely to improve once the divorce is final.  A BM who is PASing the kids while the divorce is ongoing is going to continue PASing them after it's final.  In fact,  if you and BF get engaged or marry, she'll likely ramp it up. The sad reality is that this is going to be your life if you want to be with BF.

 In your place, I would either end it, or establish separate living arrangements for the two of you.

I agree with Kes. Because BM's bullshit won't end after the divorce is final. Pieces of paper, even legal documents and court orders, mean nothing to these women.

Honestly, you arent even married to him. Why would you move him in when he is still in the process of divorcing and custody battle?

You can either break up or stop living together. He needs to get his own place and get his kids to come over there until the situation is settled in court

Breaking up seems the easiest route to avoid child abuse charges but if you do.love him and he loves you, the second best would be to live separately 

I honestly question if you really can.  After brushing aside all the "truth" (good advice) you've gotten, you still seem to be firmly fixated on continuing this relationship despite the serious consequences to you AND your own children.

Well, if you want the truth here is some more of it:  You are at risk of losing everything you have.  Your house,  Maybe your job/careeer. Perhaps even custody of your OWN kids.  You may wind up hiring a defense lawyer that will cost you thousands of dollars and may be dragged into a criminal case, despite being innocent.  All because his ex-wife is capable and willing to accuse you of anything.  

Cameras or not, if she wants to continue to accuse you of crimes she will.  

If you think this ex wife is going to stop when divorce decree is signed, you are fooling yourself. She won't. Nor will her kids. 

You say you love this man so much but are you willing to essentially lose everything you have for him?  Because that's what you are up against.  His ex will use those kids against you FOREVER.  No matter their age.  No matter how much time goes by. She will be ready to pounce on you at a moment's notice and will accuse you of horrific and criminal behavior just to make your life agony. It will not stop.  Next, she will accuse YOUR kids of doing something to her kids, or that YOU abuse YOUR kids.  Are you ready for that - to have your own children dragged through the system?  I can't imagine any mother would...

You said, "I'm not willing to throw away a wonderful man becuase of his unfortunate attachment to this woman."  Well, you are not going to be throwing away a wonderful man ... you are going to be throwing away your own future, safety, and security and perhaps that of your children.  Is he really worth all that?  Keep in mind, this "wonderful man" CHOSE HER to marry and have not one, but two children with. He is tied to her for LIFE. 

There's the truth.  Sorry if it comes across as abrupt and rude.  But I really don't think you are aware of how much danger you are in.  You. Will. Lose. Everything.

There are literally billions of men in the world.  Go find another one who doesn't have an ex wife who would gleefully lie to see you behind bars. 

You are not in an either/or situation. You can continue to see your SO while living apart, or he can see his children outside of the home. You are risking your children in order to live with this man. Reread what 2TiredforDrama posted - she is telling you what you asked for - the truth.

The BM in my life stretched the divorce and custody process out for 2 years. And continued to call DHS with false reportings even after the divorce was finalized. When the oldest turned 13 she ramped it up because that is the age judges will supposably consider a kid's wishes in regards to never seeing the NCP again.  We had do the nanny cams too.  I have some level of PTSD from the stress that BM caused and the psychotic son's disturbing behavior.

My husband has not seen his kids in 4.5 years. They are completely alienated.

It's the final straw for me now to require cameras to protect yourself from someone else's kids.  If you don't want to end the relationship then he either needs to do visitation away from your house or he moves out til his kids age out.

If the BM is like this now, this how she will always be. In her mind, he needs to be punished for not wanting to be with her even if she initiated the divorce. In her mind, he needs to be punished for not carrying a torch for her. People who go to these extremes to hurt others are unbalanced and typically personality disordered. They never get over it and if the kids inherited her personality traits, they will carry her emotional burden and have a chip on their shoulder over the perceived injustices they think happened to their mother.

It's very selfish of you and your wants to be with your SO to put your kids in this high risk situation. 

As someone said above, you will lose everything if BM progresses. 

Accusations will continue and it does not matter if you have cameras throughout your entire house. 

Seems like your mind is made up. 

I had 4 SD that I raised for 13 years. When they were out of the house and spending more time with their dad my wife and I were accused of abuse. They did not make those accusations while living with me and you know why? They knew if they did then they would be out on the street. 

I can't begin to tell you the ridiculous things I was accused of and it did not matter if it was true or not because children's services are required to check it out. Eventually, they know it is nonsense and not to waste their time, but not after they investigate. 

You two are not even married yet and this is happening. It will only escalate as they get older. Your children could also be accused of something as well. 

I know it seems harsh but I would follow Rags advice and get your own lawyer. If you are going to stay with him then you and your children need legal protection. 

I know that it sounds weird, but there are a number of people who live apart while in the relationship so that the visitation can take place.

Some of them are on this board.

Its very very doable.

So, think long and hard about the options given and advice given.

To be in my home if there are accusations being made. Even if he started with a short term rental used for visitations only, that would remove you from the equation while you sort things out. I'm sure a lot depends on the visitation schedule,  but it's worth considering. 

Additionally,  I'd take Rags advice and lawyer up, have her served with a cease and desist...mainly to let her know you won't be bullied by her. 

Your bf needs to have a come to Jesus meeting with his kiddos. They are young,  but certainly old enough to know right from wrong and truth from lie.  They need to be told that lying is not OK, even if an adult they love tells them to lie. 

My ex and his mother did somethings like this with my son and it was hard to get them to back off...but getting a lawyer and standing my ground spoke volumes and they did stop. Actually,  she passed and that helped because she financed and feed the insanity. 

Give it some thought and look at all the consequences and possible outcomes,  but if you go forward,  I'd absolutely get an attorney and launch some strikes so BM knows you're not the one. 

im sorry your going through all of this as most of us have been also.  We are similar in age and i had my partner and his SS12 (16 now) move into my property,,, big mistake !!   unfortunetely no matter how much you love this man and think hes wonderful,, he is the one putting you through all this.  I came on here years ago saying the same things ,,,, my boyfriend is great but his son and exBM are the problems. I didnt want to believe what everyone was telling me that my boyfriend is the actual problem,, boy were they all right.   Maybe not now , maybe you will get years down the track with this circus, then you will see that its your BF chosing to maintain an attachment with the BM, whether its a healthy or unhealty attachment,, he hasnt and ISNT putting his foot down nearly strong enough,,nor is he trying close to hard enough to protect you and you BS from all of this ,, hes more than happy to drag you through it because you are supporting him emotionally and sympythizing "poor man poor man" ,,,,id been there and done it for over 10yrs and in the end it was divide and conquer,,and it was me that was put through the wringer from it all, sadly i had to get them out of my house to regain my life back.  fast foward 3 years now and im still hurt from feeling abondend by my EX and basically fed to the wolves with his son and the BM.  Although they are long gone and I have my house / life back ,, i havent dated or met anyone since, and im terrified to even try as most of the men where i live / work are either married/seperated or divorced with kids.   please dont make the same mistake i made for so long, it breaks you down so much that its hard to recover from,, when your starting to hide on your property , that should be the deal breaker right there !  

so how are things playing out for you with everything?