just sad that i feel i have to disengage
Hate, hate, hate this!
BF and BM are cordial… have not been together since before SD was born. BF is a great dad – they have a Wonderful relationship.
I am building a great relationship with Future SD16 over the past 10 months. BM is jealous ( I think she is jealous of SDs relationship with her dad too). I cannot handle it anymore. We only get to see her everyother weekend – most of the time it isn’t even for the whole weekend if at all – (SD has lots of stuff going on – she is busy with friends / vacations etc) ex. Last time BF saw her was July 22. When they went away for a few days. I haven’t seen them since before they left on the 19th. – thats almost a whole month.
She had the nerve to text ME. Telling me that it makes SD uncomfortable that we texted her from my cell over the weekend. That “she chose not to respond because she was uncomfortable” and that I should respect “her time” as her boyfriend respects Dad Weekends.
BF and I KNOW that it is not SD that is uncomfortable. It is BM. She proceeded to say EVERY little thing that I have done that she has a problem with and “cannot get passed.” Including that SD is upset that we are considering having a baby. She hates that SD is upset and uncomfortable and that she doesn’t see that I am doing anything to change and things are just going to get worse. WTF?
I don’t do anything bad. Everything I do is for SD.
I don’t act like “a mom” – I am more of the fun aunt role. The only “disciplinary’ thing that I have ever, ever done was disagree with her dad in front of her about cursing in the house. He told her it was OK. And I “reacted” and said uh-NO! then later I sat with her and told her it was ok to a point, she has to be respectful and use common sense – she just looked at me – and laughed a little – told me “I know that” with a smile.
She knows she is welcome anytime – that our home is hers too. I have told her that without her dad around.
She borrows my clothes and jewelry when she forgets something at home. We talk about her friendships and going to college. She is a pleasure to have around and I miss her when she is gone.
#1. How much nerve does it take to contact ME. Then she gets pissed and texts my BF that I am causing more problems by not responding to her. WTF? Gods honest truth she doesn’t want to know what I have to say. She is only doing it for more “ammunition” against me.
#2 – would Love to know if SD even knows that mom is reading her texts.
BM is trying to kill alllllll of that. There is NOTHING I can say or do that is ‘good’ or right by her. Not that I am trying to please her – but she should realize that I am a very good influence on her daughter.
SO….. I decided to disengage. This is our weekend with her. Friday I made plans with my cousin. Saturday I am watching a friends son. Sunday I am going out with “my girls”………
BF said he is going to talk to SD as soon as he sees her so he can get the REAL story. How she really feels about everything. It just sucks that I have to disengage because of some jealous b*tch.
This whole thing makes me sad. I just hope that I am doing the right thing by disengaging.