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Just realized my SS9 has been peeing all over the room he shares with my BS

someonetotalkto7's picture

Just found out my SS9 has been peeing on his carpet for months now ( We thought the smell was from him always I mean ALWAYS wetting the bed at night. I have the bed covered with a waterproof pad and even lined it with trash bags under the mattress cover. Anyway, when asked why, he just says I don't know !?!?. My DH was also very upset and grounded him, but I cant help but feel rage and full of anger towards him ruining MY things. The other part of me says their must be something wrong with him, why would anyone do this, this all happens while he is awake so its not a sleep walking thing. Anyone else out there dealt with this?

Wifeypoo's picture

Yikes, just when you think you heard everthing! I think I'd want to change my carpets after that. Human pee seeping into the carpet pad would be a hard smell to get rid of .

WalkOnBy's picture


What is the custody situation? Does he do this at BM's, too?

First stop - the pediatrician.

someonetotalkto7's picture

We have all 3 of my SKs full time, their BM is not in their lives, due to drug addiction. The court does not allow her any contact. for 3 years now.

WalkOnBy's picture

Ah - same boat as me. Fulltimer, no contact form BM for over 5 years. No physical or legal custody nor parenting time.

Okay - so, does kid pee all over the place at school? At church? At friend's houses?? Or only just at your house??

someonetotalkto7's picture

Just our house, in his room. When he thinks he wont get caught. I'm so upset, I guess I just don't get it. I have 4 Bio kids my oldest is 21, I have never had a kid do this in all these years of being a Mom. It makes it especially hard because he is my SS and I just don't have the same connection with him so I am even more frustrated Sad

WalkOnBy's picture

okay - so it's likely not a medical issue. If he can control himself at school and other places, he is deliberately doing it at your house.

You say he says he doesn't know why he does it? Perhaps he will when he has to clean the carpets?

Get this kid to a therapist, stat!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

You have mentioned that all 3 of your step-kids wet the bed. Have they been medically evaluated? Is DH doing anything to help them stop? There are lots of different things to try. Wetting the bed can by caused by psychological issues and is often a sign of sexual abuse. In short, what is DH doing to help his children?

someonetotalkto7's picture

Basically he's turning a blind eye to these issues and when I bring it up he either gets upset or shuts down. I am the one who does almost everything for the family, including homework, dentist appts etc. as they have no other mother. however that being said recently I have really begun to resent this and am thinking forcing DH to take an actual parent role I feel incredible guilt thinking these kids have no mom and now I don't want to full time Mom them either. I feel like a monster!

I think your right, this needs to be mentioned to the pediatrician, they had a very tough time when they were very young before their mother went to prison. She was not a good mom and exposed them to bad things before my DH was able to get them away from her permanently.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

It sounds like you have two choices - either disengage from the kids and hope DH steps up or completely engage and get them the help they desperately need.

someonetotalkto7's picture

Thank you Smile

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Was BM doing drugs while pregnant? If so, the skid might have bad hardwiring.

I agree, the kids needs a therapist, and DAD needs to take him.

sunshinex's picture

That's quite strange. Definitely doesn't sound like a medical issue. Sounds like he needs therapy and dad needs to start parenting, not you. Do you have somewhere else you can put him? Like a room your bio doesn't have to share? A basement even? lol hell i'd stick the kid in the basement if he wants to act like that. Make him clean it up or better yet have dad make him clean it up and tell dad it's time to figure out what the hells wrong with his kid.

Acratopotes's picture

oh no way in hell I will keep quiet about this, I will tell DH, either you deal with it now or you and your peeing brats find another place to stay....

Your brats can sleep in the garage seeing they behave like dogs, my kid will not share a bedroom with filth anymore..

Now I am angry

Harry's picture

The place must smell like dirty bathroom. Your SO must do something. Make them wear diapers or something before the house will get so bad that you are going to have rip out flooring to get the smell out I know this is not the way handle a sick child. But this is drastic!!!!

Rags's picture

DIAPERS!!!!! He is 9yo. If there is nothing medically wrong with him (get him to the pediatrician) then put him in diapers. Just the possibility of facing peer pressure and public humiliation will solve this problem in a heart beat. In fact..... it is highly likely that he won't even get out of the house before correcting the issue for himself.

My SS had a similar issue periodically between 6-9ish and what finally solved it was putting him in a diaper. We started it on Friday after school and kept him in the diaper all weekend. When we went out for dinner, he was in the diaper. That whole weekend he was in a diaper with not one accident. Just after he went to bed on Sunday night he came into our room with the diaper in hand and told us that he got it, he understood, and it wouldn't happen again. We told him that if we was in control that was fine but if it ever happened again he was in the diaper for at least a month including at school.

He never again had a problem.

still learning's picture

I'd be moving my kid to the living room and letting ss have his little piss palace. I'd take off the plastic liner on the mattress and let him marinate in his mess. Let him be the nasty stinky kid that the school calls his FATHER about.

Seriously though, this is disgusting and a health issue. If a social worker came in your house and saw urine stains all over the kids room they could all be removed from the home. Dad needs to step it up and parent, it's his job to deal w/this.