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Just dont know if I can keep going...

MayCorine85's picture

So I have been having such a hard time lately. It started with my summer. I spent all summer home with my twin boys and most of the time my SD had to be there too because her mother was sick and having a baby, so not much time for me at all and extra responsibility on my part. Then I switched teaching jobs hoping to be less stressed out and more there for my family, sadly I have felt more stressed out than every this 1st month of school. On top of all that my SD who is 14 has behavior problems and always in trouble at school or at with her mom. This last month at least once a week there has been some type of drama with her that we had to deal with. So I finally get to this 3 day weekend and my DH makes a jump decision to say she can come home with us for the night, even though its not his weekend. I understand he wants to see her, but I am exhausted! Just to top it all off, once she gets her she takes all the leftover salmon we had (3pieces) and eats it! Doesnt ask if anyone else will eat it or anything. Im just tired and all this extra with her is just pushing me over the edge. I hate to become detached, but Im just so over it. What else can I do...

MissJulsie's picture

Salmon is so expensive. Oh dear.

Can I ask? Is SD required to help with dishes?  It always used to irritate me that when SS came to stay, he had the best of both worlds. He was treated like a special guest..... and waited on hand and foot, and didn't have to help with chores... but was also considered by SO to be  'part of the family' as it was also 'his house too' , and SS was welcome to help himself to anything, any time. You can't have it both ways IMO.

You need to have it out with your SO about this, and about inviting SD over without checking with you.

Not good enough.

Iamwoman's picture

First of all, get out of teaching. I spent 14 years teaching. It never gets better. Only worse. Now, at my new job, I not only make more money, but I am happier, far far more appreciated, and am quickly advancing upward (impossible in teaching). I thought teaching would make me a better mom due to the schedule, but I’m hindsight, I was drained by other people’s kids all day and had little patience for my own when I got home. Now, my relationship with DD is better than ever. Skids are still skids though.

Teachers are abused. There is no way around it. Parents don’t want to parent, so they blame teachers. Administration doesn’t want anyone noticing how rotten kids are so they blame teachers. Kids are masters of survival, so they hop on board the blame teachers train too. Until society forces respect toward teachers, it will never be less stressful.

As for the skid, I would have flipped into red-hot-angry-Iamwoman. Salmon is my all time favorite food. Your DH should have handled this, not only disciplining skid, but also buying and cooking more salmon for you, his hard-working, loving, wife.

You deserve to come first.

MayCorine85's picture

Thanks for the advice! This is my 7th year teaching and with twins under 2 its so draining. In area that you found were easy to move into with a teaching degree?

Rags's picture

Corporate training is a good fit for former teachers.   There are a number of private sector professional roles that are a fit for education majors.