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just curious

dwbwjc's picture

I am an ECE major and I am just curious to see what parenting style parents use..so if you could and have time to read the parenting styles and see where you fit..I just want to give the children a happy life...here is the different styles that i ve found..maybe it will impact you and how you raise your own children...

The Four Parenting Styles
1.Authoritarian Parenting
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children. According to Baumrind, these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation" (1991).

2.Authoritative Parenting
Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions. When children fail to meet the expectations, these parents are more nurturing and forgiving rather than punishing. Baumrind suggests that these parents "monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive. Their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative" (1991).

3.Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. According to Baumrind, permissive parents "are more responsive than they are demanding. They are nontraditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation" (1991). Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

4.Uninvolved Parenting
An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.
The Impact of Parenting Styles
What effect do these parenting styles have on child development outcomes? In addition to Baumrind's initial study of 100 preschool children, researchers have conducted numerous other studies than have led to a number of conclusions about the impact of parenting styles on children.

•Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.

•Authoritive parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful (Maccoby, 1992).

•Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.

•Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers.

Orange County Ca's picture

Since you've explained the one that produces the happiest children naturally I fall into that category.

use_2_b_sane's picture

We have a combined parenting style. We have set rules that are expected to be followed if they are broken there are consequences. We do not tell them “because I said so” they are told why the rule exist and why it must be followed. They always know what is expected of them. Our children are very respectful and very happy; we have a strong family bond.

vgill's picture

Authoritative parenting for my children, but I have been using the uninvolved parenting styles with my step children, as I have tried everything else but I basically have given up on them. I was tired of being used and I no longer have the energy to deal with hateful kids. With my own children I am the boss and they know it, but I also am the giver of hugs and kisses,bedtime stories, and never ending love and understanding... And they return all of these things to me every day... perhaps that is the reason I have two different parenting styles, because I have two different types of children.

Sita Tara's picture

In between 1 and 2 for all kids depending on the issue/lesson/etc. But lean toward uninvolved at times with SD to preserve my own sanity. DH is way #1.

"Parental love is unconditional, relationships are reciprocal." ~Zen

melis070179's picture

I lean mostly towards style #2. I also studied this last semester (elementary education major). On bad days, I can def veer towards #1 though!

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

Angel72's picture

my household for our child we combined of # 1 and 2. The parents rule and the kids do get punished for getting out of line but i will take into account the reasons of what and how the trangressions came about ....especially when it involved sk doing something on purpose to put blame on my son....so when they conspire , we do not punish their half brother but we turn it about and they get punished and all kids are given an explaination as to why they are being punished.
For my skids, for myself , i do #4. My husband tends to go more for #1.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

I definitely fall into #2 and occasionally slide over to #3 with perfectson and SDs alike. Punishments for screwups by the kids are rarely followed through on, however the screwups are talked about in detail of what they are and how not to do them again.

Something is working, because we seem to have well adjusted and very happy kids.

Totalybogus's picture

I am either 1 or 2. It really depends on the circumstances. I don't believe a parent should have to explain themselves to a child every time. Sometimes because I said so is appropriate.

My husband is learning the difference.

Amazed's picture

I'm a 2 and Dh is 3. I sometimes have characteristics of #1 if being #2 isn't getting the task done. DH is ALWAYS a #3 unless he's dealing with my child, then he becomes a 2.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland