Just broached the chore fight with hubby
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My SD14 rarely does her chores and it drives me crazy. My husband won't enforce them, so I end up being the one to do them, on top of everything else I do. SD lives with us. Her chores are (Monday) clean her bathroom (she's the only one who uses it), (Tuesday) clean her room, Wednesday vacuum downstairs (three rooms), Thursday wash a load of towels.
This week, the only chore that got attempted was the towels. She washed three, and they were still in the washer when I left this morning.
I told him he either needs to make sure SD does these chores or do them himself. So as not to add to my burden. We'll see what his response is!
If your DH is anything like mine
He will do it himself and not tell you. The ONLY chore SD has in our house is to make her bed. Well, in order to avoid making her bed she stopped sleeping under the covers, she just sleeps on top of her comforter with a blanket. If that doesn't beat all, DH will come home (before me) and fold her blanket and straighten her bed every day. I hope you have better luck than I do with that Elizabeth.
~Evil
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren
OMG.. DONT clean her
OMG.. DONT clean her bathroom.. perhaps if it gets nasty enough she will attempt to clean it.. and let her know that she isnt allowed to use any others in the house...
as for the towels.. see.. I can be very petty if I want to be.. I wash a towel for me w/my laundry.. then I would tuck my towel away and use it for me only. If the dh and sd want to use the same dirty towel.. then that is fine.. if not.. I am SURE dh will say something then...
Same w/cleaning her room.. if it gets yucky enough.. she might just clean it.
The vacuuming.. I have to say.. this is one I would break down on, as I would have to walk on that floor.. and would want that clean. Everything else is a reflection of HER and HIM.
Good luck. My skids are only required to hand me their dirty dishes after a meal and keep their rooms clean.. They are EOW
If she doesn't do her chores
If she doesn't do her chores then privileges should be taken away. She should learn that there are consequences for her actions (or lack of).
Sunny.. I think the problem
Sunny.. I think the problem is the DH wont enforce the punishment..
I know that is how we were all raised.. that if you dont do your chores you didnt get to watch tv. or go out to play.. nowadays there is way more that can be taken away, and nothing ever is.
My skids at most get a time out.. and that is by ME.. we are working on this in counseling.. that I cant be the bad person all the time, and getting them to clean their room just isnt enough.
He responded
He said not to do them myself. Great. He said towels and vacuuming would get done. I said what about bathroom? (We have out of town guests coming next weekend who will need to use that bathroom and I don't want them to be disgusted!) We'll see what happens.
Yes, the problem is that he won't enforce the chores. In fact, we went to counseling and the counselor said husband needs to make sure SD gets chores done (out of respect for me and because even he admitted they were not unreasonable). So he came home and removed a bunch of chores from her list. That was his way of dealing with the situation.
DH honors SDs drama
And doesn't enforce chores either. It makes me crazy - she has a headache, she has to watch the little one, she should have some time for herself.
Her room stinks - the diaper genie hasn't been changed, the room is a pig sty, I made her do the dishes last night with me. (A "bonding" experience, really, honest, swear...) Tha cat box is disgusting. Her friend picks up her kid. It goes on and on and on and on and on...
Well, Tuesday DH started complaining about how he can never use his PC because the Momma is always on it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA - NOT MY PROBLEM BUD! (She had to use his, because hers is buried under a mountain of crap).
I have to remember disengage disengage, disengage. They just have a much higher filth tolerance than me. Sometimes it is difficult...