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It's so difficult to discourage this behavior instead of cheering him on

mombydefault's picture

So last year skid got in a tiny bit of trouble at school. It was the 'cool' thing to tell 'your momma' jokes. I can't believe those jokes are still popular. Another kid told skid 'your momma's so....insert insult here' and skid's reply was 'my stepmom's not, but that might be true about my mom.'

Fast forward to a couple months ago.....DH picks skid up from egg donors house after weekend visit. Skid joined band this year. Egg donor states that she wants to become more involved in skids life. She wants to know about parent teacher school nights, band performances, etc. DH informs her that skid is now in middle school and she already missed a lot of such activities, but that we will be happy to let her know when events do occur. Egg donor asks what school he goes to (yeah, she really is that uninvolved, there's another funny story about that). DH gives her the info. and reminds her that he is required to have her as a contact on the school info., so she's welcome to visit him at school anytime. DH & skid get in the car to come home. Skid as soon as the car door closes 'do I really have to invite mommy to school stuff?' DH 'yes, your mom may be a little late in showing interest in your life, but at least she's trying now.' Skid 'but she'll embarrass me.' DH 'what do you mean?' Skid made a remark about her appearance being embarrassing. DH 'that's not very nice and not a very good reason for not wanting your mom to come to your school.' Skid 'well, she still talks to me in baby talk too. Do I really have to invite her?' DH 'yes, you have to invite her.'

Today my mother-in-law was at our house. Her and skid were skype chatting with relatives out-of-state. I walked by and overheard skid telling uncle that he really doesn't like his mom & never will. I have no idea how that topic came up or what was said before or after. When I was about to marry DH his sis was trying to convince him to get back together with egg donor since they had a kid together, so for her & her husband to hear skid say that must have been a little shocking. Again, I don't know why he said that, he's never been quite so blunt or rude about it in front of us.

It's nice to see he does realize that his egg donor is not exactly who you want as a positive influence, but he's getting a little harsh about it. The 1st two instances listed above were hard to discourage though when I'm trying to hold back the laughter and evil grin. I have to be the better person and be a good parent even if that means telling him to be nice to his loser egg donor.