Is it Wrong to Pay for Skids College?
My husband hardly ever asks me to make the big expenses for the skids (i.e. SS8 needs braces really bad) but I volunteer to cut the costs with him because we are a family and I love them so I don't mind.
Well I bought savings bonds, enough for each of them to get their first year of college out of the way at least. It's not much but it is more than what either of us had. He hasn't set up a college fund or anything for them for fear that should he pass on, the money will somehow not go where it is supposed to (he is slightly paranoid due to some of the manipulative people in his family as well as the BMs).
My sister said this was a bad idea because they probably won't appreciate the bonds when they are older and their mother has a duty to provide some sort of finance for these kids and if I keep helping my husband out, I am taking away BMs responsibility.
My husband is pretty supportive of my role as stepmom (he doesn't tolerate rudeness from the boys and he generally listens when I am livid at his ex), and I don't want the boys to suffer.
Oh and we have full custody of the boys and BM does NOT pay Child Support.
So all that being said, is my sister right? Is this something I should stay out of? It just feels so wrong if I don't help.
I know BM can't pay for
I know BM can't pay for things like we can but honestly, we make a lot of sacrifices and she hasn't made any. Or so it seems.
She has the kids right now and is upset at how much more her grocery bill is and even suggested to my husband that he foot some of the bill. He doesn't mind but I do. We give up things so the kids can be better off. We haven't gone on vacation since we have had the boys because the extra money we were saving for things like that are now being saved for braces etc. His ex, on the otherhand, has gone on several cruises and I think that is something that she could put toward her children.
But I read your thread about Free Ride to College and in your case, I see why you think they should pay their own way.
If you don't want to do something, you shouldn't have to when it comes down to it. Unfortunately, we have to pay the consequences for all our actions.
While my husband and I will help the boys pay for books by using the bonds, they know they will have to try scholarships etc.
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." ~ Abraham Lincoln
See the thread
Free College Ride by Mustang1.
I think that the fact that
I think that the fact that your H listens to you and tries to manage their behavior counts a lot. In my opinion it depends how they treat you.