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Is it worth it?

momof4plus2's picture

We are supposed to have SS13 Sunday thru Friday BM has slowly stopped taking him over this last year. He stays with us or goes with other members in the family. BM is pregnant has has had a lot of drama ( kicked out, lost her job, family wont speak to her for her drinking problem)anyway she went MIA for like a week and we found out she was in the hospital then in jail for drinking and driving. her other daughter was taken by cps and her unborn baby red flagged(not sure what that means)So now Dh wants to file full custody. I feel like what is the point he rarely went anyway. she doesn't pay child support or help in anyway. I don't see her fighting for her weekends. Has anyone been through something similar? Should we bother?

SMLIFESUCKS's picture

If you wait until she's in jail, in some states they will terminate her parental rights and dad will have full custody.

I think it's all up to how important it is for SS to stay away from BM. I don't think it's a CS issue because if she's a deadbeat, she's a deadbeat.

Maybe DH wants to make it official so SS/DH can say NO because if there is a CO right now, where she has visitation/custody, she can exercise it at ANY time.

FMSL's picture

We have a deadbeat BM and SD12 has lived with us full time since she was 7. BM hasn't fought for any visitation rights even though DH told her she can visit any time she wants. The last time BM even saw SD was in 2012. DH never had to "fight" for custody...BM just didn't want it. But, DH was smart enough to file & enforce CS from BM. It's a pathetic amount but at least it holds BM legally responsible for giving at least 2 Cents for her own damn kid.

momof4plus2's picture

So if she tries to take him and he just doesn't go would she have to take Dh to court for not sticking to the court order?

Rags's picture

Get custody, nail her ass to the wall for as high a CS award as possible. If she can't pay, keep it in arrears and make sure to file for collections periodically to keep her on the hook. Never let it age into laps.

This gives you leverage to protect your Skid's best interests in the event that BM gets stupid later.

Keep the leverage and smack her with it periodically to keep her in line.

ChiefGrownup's picture

^^^^^^this No car rides with mommylush

Also what Rags said. File. A dreamy and sullen 15 year old may decide running to mommylush's will fix all his teen problems. You need to prevent that by taking steps now if you can.