It’s over
Forums:
It’s over. He broke up with me after raging in anger because I said no to something that I mentioned wasn’t convenient for me. This was after spending my two days off at his place with his kids and getting along well. Something I said made him snap at me and break up with me. It seems I can’t bring up anything that might be inconvenient for me. It’s like walking on eggshells.
Sorry but not sorry
I am sorry you are hurting - I don’t like to see that happen to anyone
but I am so not sorry he is gone- this man was awful. He manipulates you into babysitting two days and the second you say no he break up with up and is to use your own words ‘raging with anger’
you have had a lucky escape - this guy couldn’t even keep it together to charm u completely into his web- had he done so he would have mentally and financially abused you and probably moved on to physical afterward
this guy is a creep who you were told to leave many times by all the people on this site - While you are an educated woman he obviously saw some chink in your self esteem armour that he felt he could exploit and he nearly has
you have had a lucky lucky escape. My advice:
- block his contact to you
- have a pamper day (cause you did just have a break up and deserve to feel fab)
- move on with life
- get some therapy to close that hole in your armour
- under all circumstances do not go back!!
He did what you should have
He did what you should have done long ago.
Cry and scream for a bit. Once you get it out, wipe your eyes, dust yourself off and focus on YOU.
Use this time to figure out why you wanted to hold on to a man who clearly did not want to hold onto you. Learn to love yourself more than you love a man.
This man did you favor by ending that toxic relationship
You just got the best present
You just got the best present of your life. Don't think of it as him breaking up with you because you said something was not convenient for you. You have the right to boundaries. This guy did not respect boundaries and thought he could do whatever he wanted.
Good riddance. Get help if you need it moving forward and build a better life. You will be so happy to be rid of this toxic cretin.
I'm sorry that you're hurting
I'm sorry that you're hurting, but in time you'll see (if you haven't already) that this guy is a jerk and a user and you are much better off without him.
I'm glad he did what we've been suggesting you do - end this one-sided relationship. I guess he decided he wasn't going to get what he was after from you as you figured out what was going on.
Move on, stay strong (do NOT go back with him) and you will find a good (preferably childless ) man who will love and want you for YOU, not what you can do for him.
Congratulations, you just won
Congratulations, you just won the life lottery!
Been there, and the end result is glorious! (don't worry, doesn't take long):)
Thank you everyone. You have
Thank you everyone. You have no idea how much this site has meant to me and helped me. It has helped me tune into more of what I already suspected was going on with him (mental abuse). The icing on the cake is he always treated his ex (who left him with his two kids full time when the youngest was only a 1 year old!) better than me. I spent many times picking up his kids from school, taking them to lunch, watching them, bought them/him things, and when I quit doing so much a few months ago thats when he started to get really nasty with me in other ways. I felt unppreciated. He could also be very cold sometimes to the point of not only being distant but emotionally unavailable and cruel. It is hard being with someone like that. I never got to the point of taking care of his kids (cooking, cleaning, on a regular basis, etc) I only did that occaisonally but I figured my future with him would be me doing more of that but him not getting any nicer, warmer, towards me and still treating the ex with such niceness and friendliness. He also seems very unhappy and angry in general lately. I never know what will set him off but I know its always my fault and I get the brunt of it.
It sounds like he isn't over
It sounds like he isn't over his ex-wife. He'll, may be still be in love with her.
Some people think they can get over a lost love, by getting involved with someone else. Well, the heart doesn't always cooperate with the brain.
You can't build a relationship with a man who is still clinging to another woman.
I dont disagree with you. I
I dont disagree with you. I believe he still has at least a fondness for her still that is not normal for a man who is ready to move on with his life. Well Im not going to be treated worse then her. Those arent even my kids I would be raising. Wont happen. He likely knew how I felt. He could see I was quitting doing things for him and his kids that I once did and I showed less interest in helping him with his kids and when he talked about his ex I would drown it out and ignore it. He didnt like this.
He also is trying to
He also is trying to refinance his home for the second time within the last two years. The last time he did this it was too wipe out his credit card debt. However I have a feeling that credit card debt is back again after watching how much he spent on his kids over xmas and on their toys and activities in general. His oldest son is rude, manipulative, lazy, spoiled, and disrespectful. If I have any time off he seems more interested in spending time with his son and not even running the plans by me or including me until the last minute. He spent 100 bucks a pop for private baseball lessons for his son. He does not have the money to be doing this. The kid is 8 and is not athletic and has quit many other sports. But his son wants them so he does it. However when I do spend time with his son its not enjoyable to watch his behavior. Everything is all about him, revolves around him, and he acts very entitled, not resillient at all and spoiled. His ex basically abandoned him with the kids when they were babies/toddlers and isnt capable of raising her kids full time because shes too busy with work but sees them enough regularly to be invasive. He will laugh and joke around with his ex and will tell me stories about her and whats going in her life, etc. Both of them are treated a lot nicer than me. I will miss his youngest (daughter) though and the family dog. I had a bond with them. Maybe its jealousy on my part?
He has always been
He has always been ridiculously nice to bio mom which he really shouldnt have been considering her selfishness. He blames it on her mental condition yet that mental condition doesnt stop her from performing very well at work, travelling, and going out on the weekends. It amazes me.
Cancun is waiting for you....
...go and have an amazing time away with your friends!
Although you're probably hurting now a holiday and a few nights out (without any dramas or guilt tripping before you go!) will hopefully show you that he wasn't worth you time or energy.
Best thing he could have done
Best thing he could have done for you!
I know it hurts, no one likes to be broken up with, but it really is for the best. This guy was using you.
I hope you can stay strong when he calls, wanting you back, because he realizes what you added to his life, while he didn't have to do a damn thing in return.
I had a feeling the more you
I had a feeling the more you said no, the more his head would explode. Good for you.
Congratulations on starting a new phase of your life adventure
Don't look back. Enjoy being rid of this idiot and his toxic and shallow gene pool.
Take care of you.
He did you a favor
Hon, he treated you terribly. From what you told us, the BEST thing he has ever done for you is to break it off. You sound like a giver who tries your best to make others happy and to accommodate them. He definitely took advantage of you.
When you're ready to enter the dating field again, take out that list and make sure you RUN from any man who acts like that.
{{{hugs}}}