Issues with BM "getting" to kids counselor
Anyone else had this issue? During the divorce she convinced the counselor to testify that the kids should have 1 weekend a month supervised visitation with my husband, even though they had been seeing him 3 weekends a month with no issues. My husband called the counselor after the hearing to ask if the kids had stated that they were having issues and she indicated that they were just fine- she had recommended the supervised once a month because she said she knew if she did that the judge would grant him 2 weekends a month of unsupervised. Apparently cause that's what the ex wanted.
So now we're up for round 2 (more of the story on my FRUSTRATED topic earlier today) and she's using the same counselor. My husband was calling counselor to check on kids progress until he got a letter from counselor stating that he was apparently misunderstanding the nature of her position, which is to make recommendation for the children's visitation, not to givr HIM parentling advice. Which, by the way, he didn't ask for. Just updates on the kids and what they needed from him. She also indicated in the letter that she was hired by the ex- obviously a clear sign that she has no interest in talking to HIM.
I can't believe that there are people in the field who are supposed to by unbiased advocates for children who would help to keep children from a parent who poses no physical or emotional threat to said children. Shouldn't she, as a "professional" recognize what the ex's attempts to keep the kids from their father will do to the kids??????
If you have any advice, or just have had a similar situation, I would be greatful to hear it.
Thanks again.
In our situation we asked
In our situation we asked the court to appoint an advocate for the child, my ss. She is a phycologist but her job titile is "parent coordinator" she acts as a mediator for the parents and also make decisions when the parents can't reach a middleground. She also assesses the mental state of the child. It works pretty well. I would advise you find a neutral party to aid this situation instead of allowing the ex to bring in a person with bias.
Thanks
I'm definitely going to suggest that to my husband. He's voiced his concerns about this to his attorney and I'm wondering why he didn't suggest it....
We've been there too . . .
My husband & I have encountered the same problems with 2 counselors. Regardless of shared parental responsibility & us insuring the two girls, my husband is completely out of the information loop regarding his own children. Even when we transport them to/from sessions. We have even paid three times for a session with the counselor to get feedback on the girls adjustment with the divorce, remarriage, a status check if you will...however were told that not her place, we should get our own counselor. We find it increasing challenging to interact with children who have obviously been victims of parental alienation, but to try and navigate a system so incredibly biased against men is abusive.
For what it's worth I absolutely feel your frustration. Keep your own counsel, know the people and the couple you are, and just keep trying. You're not alone.
Thanks shopgirl
It blows my mind that these people can get licensed as "professionals". Who holds them accountable for this? It is frustrating to be so powerless when it concerns your own children. I don't understand how a stranger who sees them once a month when their mother feels like she needs someone to back up her claims that they need supervised visitation can tell you that you don't have any right to discuss your children's progress with them. I could understand if it was me doing the asking, but their my husband's children. He's given more of the financial burden for raising the kids, but none of the parental rights. Argh.