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MdMom's picture

So I just recently started taking SD during the time BM would normally have her. Because BM got a job and can't afford child care for SD and her half brother. I told FDH I wouldn't mind watching SD, its only an extra two days (Monday and Tuesday)

This is the second week I was suppose to take SD, last week she was dropped off at 830 am on both days and picked up around 2-3. I waited last night for BM to text FDH about the time she would drop SD off, never got the text, so I got up early with DDs thinking BM would text the time to me... Never came.

I told FDH that I'm not going to wait around all day for BM to drop SD off, I have things to do.

It just irritates me that BM wouldn't even text to say she doesn't have to work today... I could have started my errands much earlier. But I guess thats what I get for trying to be nice and helpful for/toward BM. Imma have FDH text her and tell her if she wants my help with SD she needs to let me know 24 hrs in advance when/if she'll be dropping SD off.

SMof2Girls's picture

I would just let her know that as a standing condition, if SD is not there by 9am, you will not guarantee availability to watch her that day. If she needs care and cannot make it by 9am, she needs to provide at least 24 hours notice or find alternate care.

You are doing her a HUGE favor here, in return she needs to be considerate of your time at the very least.

Shaman29's picture

^^^^^^Ever, ever, never, never, never, ever, ever, never, never......

deep breath to continue the never, ever rant........

ej'scrazy's picture

I get it! BM is inconsiderate all the time, and I'm about at the point of not helping her out anymore. She can pay for a babysitter, as my time is just as valuable as hers, and if she cannot communicate, then I cannot help.

It's easy enough to lay out the ground rules, put them in an email, and let DH send it to her. If it's not followed, and she is inconvenienced, then maybe, just maybe she will consider changing her selfish ways! You are doing her a favor, but you don't have to; make sure you stick to your guns!

Orange County Ca's picture

Forget that "If the kid isn't here by 9AM......". That's baloney she can call or text you the second she knows she can't make it.

I would tell your husband to tell her that she is to text the time of arrival by X AM or don't bother to bring the kid over. And if she doesn't don't answer the door.

I'm guessing this woman treats everyone this way until she can't get away with it any longer. Make sure she can't starting Monday.

MdMom's picture

I agree with all of you. I honestly don't care if BM doesn't drop SD off... Just so long as she gives me a heads up, the day before the day of, it doesn't matter. I just don't want to be waiting at home all day for SD to come, when I have plans. It would be easier to get a 24 hour notice, but I understand that plans can change in an instant... That doesn't bother me.

It bothers me that I'm doing BM a favor by taking SD while she works with no pay, and she expects me to keep my days open in case she needs someone to watch SD. I may be a SAHM, butI am NOTa daycare.

I will be havhaving FDH contact her tonight to let her know I will need a heads up on days she will be staying with SD. I refuse to be a door mat.

Goincrazy40's picture

I know ALL about these games. DO NOT LET A BM TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU! Give an inch, she will take a mile.

I used to help BM but she never appreciated any of my help. Now she hates me. Why, because I helped her go to her classes on time? Because I helped get her kids ready for school every day? Because I fed them when she couldnt be bothered? I guess so. because she tells everyone she sees how much she hates me. Whatever.

I just quit doing her any favors a long time ago and I am vocal about why. Because she didn't appreciate it and she took advantage of my kindness.

And I don't let let my DH pull the "but its for the kids card." Not if its BM's custodial time.