Ipod and Phone should they be monitored
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My ss has a ipod he is almost 14. I have told his dad that he needs to monitor him on it because I know how kids are these days. He thinks I am being over protective. Well I checked it one day and saw he was cussing a lot. BD talked to him. Well today ss just left it in the den throwed in a chair. I picked it up and was checking his kik app. Boy did I get an eye full he was cussing and talking dirty to some little girl and to top it off somebody had sent him some child porn pics. So how do I handle this? BD already thinks I am to hard on him. Thanks in advance.
I thought about hiding it.
I thought about hiding it. But should I show his dad?
I would show his dad! He can
I would show his dad! He can LEGALLY get in trouble if someone sees that! I did the same with SD, DH thought she needed privacy. Umm you get privacy when you pay your way. She was scheming to move to another country with BM, talking horrible about us, lying about things she was doing etc. We found out by checking her phone. She doesn't sleep with her phone or any electronics in her room, well she didn't she got them all taken away again. All stay in the dining room at night since she has been trusted many times and failed miserably with acting responsible. She actually only has a flip phone now, after she made fun of me on twitter. But yes, show his dad and I would hope he would realize and remove the phone from him.
Thank you I am just glad I am
Thank you I am just glad I am not the only one that feels this way.
I totally agree! She had a PW
I totally agree! She had a PW on everything and she had to give it to us. Facebook, twitter, email, phone and computer PWs. We had it all, we still do but she doesnt have access anymore so it doesnt matter.
Agreed. Even at his age he
Agreed. Even at his age he could end up in trouble for that, as could any adult in the home. This is a pretty big deal.
Its a HUGE deal! You are more
Its a HUGE deal! You are more calm that me, I would have already had DH on the phone demanding the kid be picked up early from school. Its so illegal and scary! I wouldn't allow it to happen at all in my house. For fear of my BD being impacted or ME being impacted.
I'm glad this topic got
I'm glad this topic got brought up we're trying to find a way to tell my stepdaughter (she's 12) that we need to check her phone every week. Do you just tell the kid that it's your job to make sure they're safe so you have to check their phone once in a while?
DD thinks nothing of it. She
DD thinks nothing of it. She is 10 and never questions why I look at her stuff, but thats cause I have always done it. SD17 never had anyone check on what she was doing and thought we were invading her privacy. Had to fix that issue, which she still complains about. We simply told her "its our job as a parent to protect you and to make sure you are making wise choices. You have shown us you cant make those choices alone. Therefore, all electronics will NOT have a PW we do not know. If we try to look and cant get in, everything is taken away. You are to leave everything out each night and NO text are to be deleted (we can see them on the phone bill). If you delete them, its taken away. No internet history is to be deleted (husband is IT and can check this anyway with our internet security we have)."
She hated it and still does but has no choice. DH never checked her stuff and still doesnt. I always did but since I disengaged I havent either. Who knows what shes doing since she can get internet at school.
Why do you have to find a way
Why do you have to find a way to tell her? She's a kid and dad us the adult. All he had to do is open his mouth and say give me your phone.
DH kept telling me I was
DH kept telling me I was being overly concerned about monitoring SD14's (at the time 13) laptop that she got for Christmas. Well, I did my monthly check on the computer (I had to convince DH to let me do this) and what do I find on Skype? Sexting. Yup. I threw a huge fit and told DH she never allowed to have a laptop in my home again. He believed me from that point on that the all skid electronics need to be monitored.
I think they should not have
I think they should not have any portable devices until they can pay for it. But they all want to keep up with the kid Jones's If they didn't have them they couldn't be chatting and sending pic so easily. I know they are going to do things and test the water but why make it so easy for them. They are so young and think they know it all. They need to learn that there are consequences for there actions.
Well, I'll play devil's
Well, I'll play devil's advocate and say you should do nothing. Here's why:
1. Swearing at 14 - as long as he's not swearing at you - is not a big deal.
2. "Talking dirty" may be subjective. What you consider "dirty" someone else (like your DH) may not.
And here's the important one...
3. You cannot care more than the actual biological parents. You can't. It's crazy-making.
You told his Dad he needs to monitor the electronics. You showed him something once already to prove he needs to monitor the electronics. Dad clearly does not think this is important. Trying to FORCE Dad to think this is important is likely an exercise in futility and is only going to get him mad at YOU.
If the service is in your name, tell DH he has one month to get SS his OWN plan without your name on it. Other than that, let it go.
When there is child porn on
When there is child porn on his ipod in my house I have to say something. This is more than cussing and if the little girl he was telling what he could do to her parents check her phone and see that. They might confront the dad and it might not be good.
When you say he was talking
When you say he was talking dirty to "some little girl" - how little? His age or way younger? That could get him in legal trouble right there. Remember, what he is sending out a parent could be looking at on the other side.
Even though he is receiving the child porn he could get in as much legal trouble as the one sending it. This needs to go to the authorities so they can get in contact with whoever sent it to your SS. Child porn is on a different level than kids talking dirty and sexting. Child porn is a crime that harms children.
Tell your husband and you both need to tell the police.
I assume she is his age but
I assume she is his age but to me 13 almost 14 is to young. But that is why I am trying to wake everyone up and make them realize how much trouble they and even me can get into. Everything goes out there somewhere and can come back to bite you in the a**!
"I recommend fire" lol this
"I recommend fire" lol this just cracked me up! A hammer might help get frustrations out too! THEN fire. hahahaha
My teenage kid hates that I
My teenage kid hates that I check his phone. But he's learned his lesson after getting an app taken away and the phone locked down more. BM and DH seem to think the skids are still sweet young innocents. BM has their phones on her plan. DH finally had the skids give him their passcodes but he's checked only one phone once.
I don't check the skids. Not my phone not my kid. I do check my kid and I let exH know if there's anything we both need to address.
You should tell DH. If you are offended or have a reason (like no porn in my house), then I'd say you can justify the device being in your possession for a while as a consequence. But be prepared for DH and BM not to do anything.
Show it to his dad. I found a
Show it to his dad. I found a video on my SDs iPod of her tweaking in her underwear. I hit the ceiling.
I will NEVER trust my sc16
I will NEVER trust my sc16 with a phone/tablet again after being caught over and over sending nudes to adult men. She always swears up and down that she's learned her lesson but when we look at her phone, she has a hidden chat program on it. Definately show this to his dad and make sure he knows he can be charged with posessing child porn.
Thanks everyone. we had a
Thanks everyone. we had a group meeting about all this BM,me, dad and son. Phone has been taken away no more laptop unless he is sitting in our presents and no video games. I told him he was going to see what it was like in the 70's lol. But we were all in agreement. Thanks again!!!
Good plan. I check my kids'
Good plan. I check my kids' at random so they never know when it will be. I can tell which of their friends' parents check theirs. It helps when deciding how much time my child can spend with a child if I've seen lots of BS from them, especially knowing that if my child goes to the other child's house, I have no idea what the parent allows. Parents who don't check devices are the same ones who don't see underage drinking, sex, inappropriate behavior, etc. People need to wake up.