Introduction and Question
I'm brand new to the forum, so sorry if I post something somewhere it's not supposed to be, if I don't get the lingo yet, etc!!
My 11-year-old BD and I have been living with my boyfriend of over 3 years and his two kids, agest 10 (son) and 12 (daughter) for about a year and a half now and things are going surprisingly well.
My main source of frustration/hurt comes from their mom who has borderline personality disorder and refuses to acknowledge I exist. Though things have gotten much better, I know this puts a big strain on the kids as they are always trying to look after their mother and her feelings (instead of how it should be--the other way around).
I think I mostly joined this forum so I could get a better feel of what others go through, what's considered 'normal', what to take issue with and what not to. I am not close to anyone who is going through the same thing I am, so wanted to reach out and learn more from others in similar situations.
My first question is, how do you handle it when your stepkids have events such as school concerts, sporting events, etc.? Do you go to them? All of them or just select ones? I have struggled with this from day one as, at first, I was not 'allowed' to go because their mom couldn't handle me being there. Though this has gotten better, I still get anxiety every time they have an event and I think: "Am I invited? Should I go? Should I be hurt if they don't want me there? What if they want me there but don't tell me and I don't go and they get upset?" GAHHH! Help : )