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Insurance on Estranged SD

boots415's picture

My DH and his ex are both supposed to cover medical insurance for my SDs. We have insurance on all 4 of us through my work. We were on DH's, but then it went WAY up, so we switched to mine. BM doesn't pay for any insurance as she was ordered to do, but we just let it go. SD17 has not lived w/ us in over a year. She has treated us like crap ever since. She's been absolutely horrible, and she has hurt my DH beyond words. So here's my question: When she graduates in June, should I drop the coverage on her because of the way she's treated us? Or should I be adult about it and keep her on there. Two things to consider: 1) it's family coverage and it will still cost me the same amount whether she stays on or not. 2) she's pregnant and due in June. According to my insurance, the baby will not be covered. The birth will be because my SD is covered, but nothing else for the baby. (Since she's going to be a single, teenage mother, I'm sure the government will step in pay for everything anyway. They'll be handing her stuff left and right.) Thoughts?

nothinforya's picture

If your cost is the same, why not leave her protected from catastrophes? She may appreciate it someday.

RedWingsFan's picture

I agree with the above posters. If it doesn't harm you financially, I'd just leave her on until the time period expires.

misSTEP's picture

I HAD to drop our SD from our family insurance because she is so PASed that we don't even have her ADDRESS. Just the town she lives in.

Plus, as you said, our SD was a single unwed teen mom and she (and BM) preferred to use medicaid anyway. Gets around all those pesky copays and deductible. In fact, I am pretty sure they didn't even mention that she was already COVERED under insurance when she applied for medicaid. :sick:

boots415's picture

In Michigan, kids can stay on there parents' insurance until they are 26! At what age do you think it's ok to drop her, then? Even if the kid is 24 and married, he/she can still be on the parents' insurance.

I understand what all of you are saying, and thank you for the advice. I know that's what I SHOULD do. It's just so damn hard.

boots415's picture

Geraldine said said after SD is 18, she is legally responsible for copays. Do you guys know if that's true in all cases & w/ all insurances? I was thinking that we'd get stuck paying for her unpaid co-pays/bills. Right now, DH and BM are supposed to split co-pays and uncovered charges 50/50, but BM rarely pays. We just found out about a bill from 2009 for $55 from when BM took SD to urgent care. My husband just found out about it a few weeks back when he took SD to her physical. Apparently they sent the bill to BM's address several times and she just ignored it. Now it's in collections. Pretty pathetic that you can't come up w/ $55 over the course of 3 years.

Redsonya's picture

I don't agree with the other posters on this one. I've been through this with the skids and whether to insure them. The bottom line is that if copays and other bills don't get paid, the doctors and hospital absolutely will come after you as the primary insurance holder. The worst part of that is that you may not know about them until they hit your credit.

I considered insuring my SS18 while she was in college because I felt like I could probably trust her to tell us about bills and copays and pay us back, if need be. Then she completely distanced herself from DH and called us alot of names with BM. I am not going to go out of my way for an adult that treats me poorly but still expects from us because she growing up as entitled as her mother. If she wants to act like an ass, then she can figure out her own medical coverage. Same for you, if your SD18 is grown up enough to have a baby, and treats you like crap, I wouldn't take a chance with my credit and finances for someone like that.

boots415's picture

I would definitely keep her on til after the baby is born. I probably should've made that clear. She graduates in June and the baby is due in July. Thanks for the advice!

boots415's picture

You asked where bio dad of the newborn is. He's 15 years old! Yes, 15! He'll be 16 in a few weeks, but still. How the heck is he going to contribute????? From what I hear, he gets good grades, but he's constantly making references to weed on Facebook.

Orange County Ca's picture

I too believe that you should keep her on until the birth and she's safely out of the hospital and recovered and even then until she's 18 if she has not yet arrived at that age by then.

Meanwhile someone should be coaching her on how to burden the taxpayers with her and her offsprings existance. (It's not government money - they just funnel the money from taxpayers while scooping some off the top for overhead expenses).

After all your husbands kids are off the policies he should add up his ex's share of the costs of providing the medical coverage over the years that she did not pay and send her a bill or accounting. He can remind her that failure to pay her share is a criminal violation of a court order and that is what he will request should she fail to pay.

christinen's picture

If she's a pregnant teenager, she can easily get Medicaid and that will cover everything 100%. That might actually be the better way to go (yes, I know taxpayers will have to pay, I'm just talking about specifically for the OP's sake) because depending on your insurance, you may still have a hefty bill from the hospital for the delivery of the baby. If you dropped her and she got Medicaid, that would ensure you (or her) had no delivery bills to worry about. I know it's not the best thing to do, I'm just saying. You don't want to be responsible for her hospital bills and I am betting it will be a couple thousand dollars after insurance payments that you will have to pay for delivery. If she's adult enough to get pregnant, she's adult enough to figure out how to pay for it. That's my thought anyway!

boots415's picture

I really appreciate everyone's comments. Thanks for the advice. SD17 will turn 18 in May, graduate in June and then have the baby in July. I would definitely keep her on until after the baby. My insurance doesn't cover the baby, so if I drop her, I won't feel TOO bad because I know the baby will be covered through some govt. agency. After reading all your comments, I think I better call my ins. company and find out if I'll be responsible for any of her bills if she doesn't pay them.