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GoldenTiger's picture

"in most GOOD decrees...they say each parent must carry a policy in set amount (usually $100k) on the other. so, ideally, he would have one policy on himself with her/kids as beneficiary. and then you two could have a separate policy for yourselves. the extra expense, of course, should be his."

So what if insurance is through work with them helping with costs? DH's work doesn't offer the choice to have more than 1 policy.

Am I the only one to think there needs to a separate specialty for attorneys who deal exclusively with stepfamilies? Like corporate law, real estate law, blended family law...

southernbelle's picture

I think that the attorney idea would be awesome...maybe some of our kids will become that...
What we did is this: I have life insurance on BS, SS, and DH through work, and then DH and I each have a term life policy that the other is benificiary to. We've discussed the distribution of the term life money should something happen to either of us, and he trusts me to make sure that SS gets money put aside in an trust, while he doesn't trust BM to not screw it up. My BS is my beneficiary, my mom is my executrix on my work life insurance policy & retirement, and that way should something happen to me, BM can't touch any of my estate through my husband.

GoldenTiger's picture

So your DH is OK with you being beneficiary for his & him not being the beneficiary for yours? I can already see the hurt in my DH's eyes if I even bring this up. Hurt from my words & lack of trust that he'd handle it correctly, hurt from his failings that have caused me to want such a thing, & hurt that after all the counseling & discussions we've had, I still don't feel safe putting things like this in his hands, & finally, hurt because he'll know it's the smartest way to go & he can't change that.

Don't get me wrong. I've learned not to fall for the puppy eyes in situations involving SK & BM regardless of whether BS is directly involved or not. But it never gets easier to follow through. Just gets easier & easier to recognize when it's happening.

If I were stupid & oblivious, I'd be a happier person.

So did DH fight you on this arrangement or not? How'd you approach it?

"It only matters if I care!" Biggrin