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Inattentive ADHD

lorlors's picture

Does anyone have any knowledge or experience of inattentive ADHD? Not the hyperactive kind but the following:

Extreme forgetfulness- can’t remember any detail from where we went on holiday 6 months ago for example
Loses things all the time- phones, hairbrushes, coats, jackets, school items
Has to be told every day to wash, brush teeth, make lunch for school at 16 years old
Social awkwardness
Problems reading social cues
Needing told the same thing again and again and again but routines still don’t stick?

If so, how did you manage it or treat it?

Thumper's picture

Is your diagnosis from a Psychologist, what did they suggest you to do? Most communities have local resources to help families.

Is the teen in specialized classes at school? They would also have connections to local resources.

I have to go back to "where did this diagnosis come from and what did they suggest you do'

lorlors's picture

We don’t have a formal diagnosis yet but have made an appt with a psychologist next week. From what we have read around it we think it is likely.

Oldmom's picture

I had 1 add kid and 1 adhd kid

This is more then add. By 16 a child should have developed some kind of coping mechanism. Wait till the Dr finishes the eval and see what is recommended

thinkthrice's picture

I did this as a child and it was called "day dreaming" back then. A few spankings cured me.

SAFjh's picture

I can only agree that this doesn't really sound like add or adhd to me. I live in a house with three people who have one form or another and none of the criteria you mentioned matches the way they are affected by it. Hopefully a professional will give a solid diagnosis and let you know what treatment it will require. I am sorry you are struggling with that though provided there is actually something wrong. Is autism a possibility? It can fall on a very wide range of spectrums from mild to severe.

Loxy's picture

Actually most of those are traits of the inattention type of ADD - where there issues all revolve around what they call executive function skills (planning, organisation etc). The issue with social cues however sounds more like Aspergers to me.

Loxy's picture

Yes my SD12 has recently been diagnosed, although to be fair we have known from when she was a very young child but BM didn’t see or didn’t want to see it (probably because BM is exactly the same). It was only when it started to have a significant impact on SD’s grades and behaviour at school and SD also started displaying escalating anxiety as well that BM finally agreed to get her help.

SD is now seeing a psychiatrist and is on medication and it’s really helping with her concentration. We are also working closely with her school to put a range of strategies in place to help her organisation.

SD also displays a range of other traits that could be Aspergers (also from BM) that we are now hoping to treat via counselling with her physiatrist over the coming years. It would be worthwhile knowing if your skid has been tested for other issues as ADD and Aspergers often go hand in hand and you did mention issues with social cues.

That tells you how we are treating it from a medical perspective, as for how to manage it from a SM’s perspective that’s a hard one. Despite raising (equal shared custody with BM) my SD since she was 2, I’ve just never bonded with her and actually really dislike her. I find myself having little patience or empathy for the struggles she must be going through given she makes my day-to-day life so difficult and unpleasant.

She’s the type of child that sucks the life out of you and I find so many of her personality traits truly abhorrent. I am hopeful that we can alter some of her behaviour via the physiatrist, but either way, I don’t see myself ever liking her much.

I think it’s hard enough to bond with step-kids, let alone ones that come with a bagful of difficulties.
Good luck!

lorlors's picture

Loxy, thank you for your detailed response. You speak my language and I agree and support you.

MoominMama's picture

'I am hopeful that we can alter some of her behaviour via the physiatrist'

Only if she is willing to work with him on it and recognises there's a problem and wants to change it. Otherwise, it's money down the drain. Sad

Loxy's picture

SD and BM both really like our psychiatrist which is good and SD is actively taking charge of her medication and remembering to take it as she can really see the benefits and difference it makes for her so all signs so far are positive.

SD is however very resistant to specific labels ie she accepts she struggles with concentration but rejects the idea she has ADD. Just as I think she has some understanding of her emotional limitations (ie she knows she lacks empathy) but does not accept she could be Aspergers. The psychiatrist simply doesn't mention labels and we don't mind either way - as long as SD is getting the treatment she needs.

For us it's one step at a time, get the ADD stuff under control first and then start working on SD's social and emotional limitations.

Thumper's picture

lorlors I hope you are able to successfully get to the bottom of what is going on.

You didn't say if this was your bio OR your husbands.

IF the teen is your husbands bio, does he act this way at moms house. What about at school?

As a mom I can tell you that no two kids are the same. One may be high drama, usually girls and boys could care less about many things. Is it unusual to tell a 16 year old,,,"hey take a shower"... Not really. Depends on the circumstance.

Is it unusual for a 16 year old to miss social queues, again it depends on the dynamic. Take it bad manners or ADD? NO filter and interruption into conversations he is not part that bad manners or Asperger's?

Some kids if pathogenic parenting is prevalent, will purposefully erase memories that you and I would find most pleasurable such as your vacation.

There are so many possibilities.

For you, I hope it is nothing serious. Poor kid, what ever is going on....:(