I'm a SM, but this isn't really about step parenting, hope you don't mind
OH is friends with a group of nice guys, they meet up a few times a month socially. Sometimes partners join them, I've always liked their partners.
One friend is very recently divorced. Upon separating he began a new relationship within weeks. From the outset of the separation and before any woman came along, I was really worried that this air of desperation he gave off would be trouble for him, but I thought hey, he might just meet someone nice. But the new woman is the problem.
After she started turning up at the guys-only meetups (which I found very peculiar), I eventually met her. She was dressed like a hooker and behaved in a very OTT way. Since then, there have been several group occasions where she gushingly rushes forward to hug my OH when we walk into a room, and ignores me standing right behind him. My OH begged me to go round theirs for an evening drink, I really didn't want to but I agreed to do it for him and the importance of his friendship, and also I suppose my friendship with his friend (we had supported him a lot during his divorce where he was gutted).
That evening the new woman virtually blanked me the whole evening. It was just four of us in the room, she spoke only to my partner. It was so weird, like something in some deranged movie. She sat stroking her partner whilst her eyes were permanently fixed on my OH. Every time she asked him something and he mentioned me, like "oh yes, we did that, that was Tara's idea", whereas anybody normal would probably turn their head and ask me something or extend the topic, she didn't move her head one bit and changed the subject.
I was boiling mad inside and eventually my hints landed on my utterly oblivious OH and we left.
Since then, we've come across her twice and she's been the same. I've noticed she's one of those women who only has eyes for all the men in the room, she blanked the other partners on one occasion too. She is incredibly loud and fawns and drapes herself all over the men in the room and ignores the women. My OH's other friends seem to have the measure of her and have tended to keep her at arm's distance, but my OH and her partner are especially good friends and she seems to have latched onto my OH in a way that I really don't feel comfortable with.
Now, my partner is a bit oblivious to many things - this woman's behaviour, his kid's behaviour, what is going on in the street etc. So I don't think his "what? I didn't notice" is really anything to worry about, as I've found out, that really is just him. But this woman has now moved in with our friend, it seems she's a permanent fixture, and everyone is talking about more and more meet ups, dinner parties, and evening us all going away abroad together and renting a villa.
I honestly cannot think of anything worse. I don't want to spend a second in this awful woman's company. A party is on the horizon and I am already dreading it. Any holiday with her would be hell. My partner says he doesn't like her, finds her very loud and is worried for his friend but doesn't think he should say anything (family members apparently told them they thought he was jumping in too early and too much with this woman but it ended up in a massive row so nobody says anything any more). The pressure is on me to join in all these events for the sake of my OH and his friend, and the group but I dread it.
I don't know what to do.