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I'm new, anyone a step parent to someone else's ADOPTED child?

mean streak's picture

Hi everyone!
I'm so glad to have found this site. My situation in a nutshell:
My long term boyfriend, with whom I have a 2 year old son, was previously married. He adopted his step son, the youngest child of his then wife.
She, predictably, turned out to be a psycho. My boyfriend now has full custody of the child, who he considers his own.
As you might expect, I have too many issues to list with this. It's very hard to accept the kid. I wonder, if everytime I looked at him I saw the man I loved in his face, instead of two other people, would it be easier?
Does anyone have a similar situation or any thoughts at all on this subject?
Thanks for reading!
X.

dodgegal05's picture

I am in the same situation except he never legally adopted the skids. its harder when they are adopted, bc to you its not "their" kid. My fdh has stepkids from his previous marriage. her kids, not his biologically, but after their divorce she dumped them on him. I always say stepkids, he says kids. I refuse to say kids due to their behavior towards him. I think it would be easier for me if the skids were actually biologically his bc he would not be so worried about them disowning him as "dad" if he stands up for himself or me. Then I could see why he loves them. I had a step kid and never thought of him as my own or loved him like that so its hard for me to understand. I dont have human kids and if i did they would behave way better than his stepkids.

mean streak's picture

Thanks for your post. Do you and fdh ever fight over this? Do you know of any other web sites that address this topic?