You are here

If you knew then, what you know now - honest answer??

gazzabicks's picture

Taking away the fact that you might have your own children with your partner and the fact that you love your partner to bits, would you get involved as a step-parent if you knew then what you know now ??

Totalybogus's picture

Yes. I've been a stepmother twice. I realized the second time around where my mistakes where and corrected them this time. I have been much happier for it.

stepof 1nitemare's picture

No, never in a million years would I have married him if I knew what I know now. It continues to amaze me hoe an 8 year old girl can wreak such havoc on a family. We are both educated, level headed adults, yet that child beats all I have ever seen, and she has the ability EOWE to make us angry with each other and the tension she creates in my home are no where near worth the hassle. I love my husband with every fiber of my being but I hate his daughter and she could just be the downfall of our marriage.

If he and I do not make it, I WILL NEVER date a man with children, of any age, again. NEVER

If the Broom Fits, Ride It!!!!!

MaisyM's picture

For the past few days I have seriously considered packing my bags and leaving. I won't though, it's just getting really tough just now. I feel really sad to admit that I probably wouldn't be here if I had known what was coming.

I love my youngest SD with all my heart but I am steadily growing to detest her big sister (and her BM) and I know that is so wrong, but it's how I feel.

soverysad's picture

I would run like my hair was on fire. No seriously, I wouldn't get involved with another man with kids, but I wouldn't change being with my dh. He's worth the baggage (most days). I would disagree with keeping his kid while Wingnut works.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

TheWife's picture

I probably would have still done it, but differently. I wish I knew then about handling the situation as I know now.

But if DH and I were to not work out, I would NEVER EVER do it again.

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

Pantera's picture

No, I wouldn't do it again.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

Selkie's picture

I think the only thing I would have done differently is find this site earlier. We went through five years of HELL before we came to any kind of resolution in our little family here (FH, DD15 and I) and before I was able to set some boundaries around the skids' visitation. It took us that long to become a parenting team, presenting a united front to all the kids. It took FH that long to accept his role as a parent for my kid.

But now things are going so well for us, mainly because the skids aren't here that often (thanks to said boundaries), that it's all been worth it. FH and I are united in parenting. The drama has finally eased. And the skids no longer have an opportunity to bully my daughter and wreak havoc in our home.

dsngrl's picture

no i dont think i could do it.. i love my DH, but I dont think it is worth it. BM is actually not that bad, compared to all the stories i hear on here.. however, i get really upset sometimes because I feel left out. The dynamic is weird and ive tried and tried to get SS to be superclose to me.. honestly, it is just too stressful sometimes. I actually enjoy being by myself and dont need a man in my life so meeting my husband was a bonus thing. I just think its so stressful on our marriage sometimes and i often wonder what it would be like to be with someone without the baggage. If we ever split up, that would be what I would look for next in a partner, hate to say it.

DISbelief's picture

In a heartbeat.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

sadstepmom26's picture

I would not. Well maybe I would if I had put my foot down early and not taken on so much undue responsibility. No, I take that back. I wouldnt.

Mommyto1Stepto2's picture

No, I think I would have turned the other way and run. If he had kids and/or an ex-wife, then bye-bye! It's too hard! Being a step-parent and a 2nd wife is TOO hard!!!

soon2bestepmum's picture

Nope. I hate to say that, because he is a wonderful person and he is wonderful with my child. I also love his daughter to pieces. But his ex wife and the fallout from their divorce is just too much to deal with. And no, it was NOT like this when I chose to move in with him.

adva25's picture

Nope... I love my hubby too much to leave now... But if i had known the crap that comes along with it... never
Ami

stepmom008's picture

I can't really take those two things away. It would really depend on if we were going to get married and have kids of our own and if the kid was a terror or not. And obviously if I loved him that much. Before being in this relationship, I either A.) would never have gotten involved with a guy that has a kid or B.) would have said absolutely, no. Now... not so sure.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

DobesRule's picture

taking away those facts ( in theory), then i would have to say no way in hell would i do this if i knew what i know now. with those things not taken away then absolutely would still do it.