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I went from loving dinner to hating the very thought!

StayorGo's picture

I HATE DINNER TIME WITH SD! I am a true foody people and I love to eat! But heavens above I hate dinner time with SD! She turns everything into "whats this?", "whats that little thing there?", "what kind of rice is this?", "is this chicken?"

It takes her 30 minutes to eat every meal, EVEN CEREAL!!! Lord help me! I have lost love for something that I really enjoyed!

StayorGo's picture

Dh just told me maybe I am the one that needs to be medicated so I can just ignore it all! I told him I would rather leave and you and your daughter can kiss my arse before I medicate myself to deal with her shit!

Tx mommy of 3's picture

My dh used to tell me that and I'd get mad. Now I say bring it on! Get me the prescription and meds and I'll take them if it makes life easier! Of course I'm kidding...kind of Wink But he stopped telling me that!

StayorGo's picture

I always tell him remember hun I was on meds before and it never helped me forget what an arse you were then and still are at times, so cant think it will help out now! I dont want to screw BS out of time with me at dinner time during SD weeks, but it is total misery for me so it isnt really time BS benefits from! Maybe it would be better to just skip dinner on SD weeks and not have the hassle.

I feel like its just a motion being gone through. Honestly I can feel the depression creeping up and that just sucks the joy right out of everything!

I go for my pre-ablation things 2 weeks from now, and then for the procedure...hopefully that will take care of some of my hormone rages and bring some balance to my iron issues. I sure hope so anyway!

mad stepmom's picture

Some days I self medicate with having a glass or two of wine while I am cooking. Then by the time I sit down at the table I feel happy and am able to deal better with any dumb things my SD13 has to say. If need be I leave the table as soon as I am done and leave SD there by herself. Also, watching TV during dinner is a good way to ignore her. As long as BD doesn't aggrevate me during dinner, he might just get lucky since I am happy on wine! So, then we tell SD that we are all going to bed early, right after dinner! HA! Then, she has to go to her room and stay. YEAH!!! }:) This sounds good. Think I need to do this EVERY time we eat dinner together! Wink

Fairy Stepmother's picture

Are you serious? You leave the table? What kind of lesson is that supposed to be?

Sounds like you have some serious anger directed towards this child and I'm very sure that she knows it. I hope you're able to work things out with her.

Fairy Stepmother's picture

What if you get SD involved in making dinner? Then she'll already know what everything on the table is and you can divert her conversation elsewhere.

How old is your SD?

StayorGo's picture

She is 6 and the eating issue is... due to her mothers way of eating/cooking, which SD loves (everything covered in BBQ sauce, gravy or ranch dressing)... SD complains about everything, doesnt like tomatos, cucumbers, onions, pepper, "green things", homemade chicken pot pies... it is just ridiculous! We eat everything here and really there isnt much we dont eat except BBQ sauce, gravy or ranch dressing!

StayorGo's picture

Thats the problem with SD there always has to be something to dip healthy foods in... but with BS due to me introducing him to good foods early... he eats everything without dips. Really, when a child is allowed to dip a grilled cheese sandwich in ranch dressing because that is how BM lets her eat it... there is a problem. That will never happen with us I can guarantee that.

One would think since BM is obese she would try to not let SD eat that way, but guess I could think in one had and load lard in the other and that one would get full pretty darn fast!

I was never much on taking something healthy and putting something not so healthy on it... its the same as eating a big slice of chocolate cake with a diet coke... I had an uncle that did that... he died of a heart attack about 200 lbs over weight...it doesnt make it any better in my eyes.

StayorGo's picture

I understand what you mean and you are not sounding preachy at all. Believe me I love me some fat, oh lord I could live on homemade CC cookies at night with a cold glass of milk, yum yum yum. But ranch will never be in our house, I cannot remember the last time I bought that dressing.

And I am not thin by any means, but I am not obese either. I have control and know what is and isnt healthy for me. We do try to make up for the bad habits in BM home but it isnt going to change the fact that BM is the way she is. But I did make it clear to DH that every other week at our house isnt going to combat the nasty that SD gets over there.

P.S. I love JO... he is awesome!

MamaBecky's picture

I am guilty of letting my SD's dictate dinner. We have them EOW and I typically take them out to eat on Fri and cook Sat and Sun nights but I always make something that they like. I figure I get the other 12 days so I make stuff that they like for the 2 I have to cook for them. To me its just not worth the struggle. My H and I dread our weekend dinners with the girls because its so boring and predictable but now I have set this precedent and I know it will be a big issue if I just all of a sudden stop. I feel like I have pinned myself to the back wall of the kitchen and we are chicken nugget and tator tot bound....and taco bound forever. I use to love taco's....I'm starting to hate them.

Fairy Stepmother's picture

Both my DH and SS would prefer to have foods dripping with evil sauces, etc. However, I'm the cook in the house. At the beginning, DH used to make something different for SS if he didn't like my dinner choice. But then we sat down as a family and asked SS what his typical menu is. Once DH heard how appalling it was at BM's house and school, he agreed with me that he would eat more healthily at our table than anywhere else. Now, there is always a lean meat, vegetables, etc. Luckily, both DH and SS love salads so it's been easy to incorporate an entire meal based around a salad, like chicken caesar salad or sauteed shrimp tossed in a salad.

We also incorporated a rule that there is one soda per day when he is with us. And one cup of coffee when he stays a weekend, not coffee every day (BM is addicted to everything and the addictions are being passed on to SS).

If you cave in to the food issues, when you know that what you offer is better for the kids, then they will expect you to cave to much more serious issues as they arrive. Giving them only the meals they desire is another way of spoiling them, and we all know that a spoiled child is not a good child. Blum 3

StayorGo's picture

I feel your pain... we asked SD once what she eats with BM...I do believe SD stated they eat McD's at least 3-4 times a week, fried chicken, pizza, grilled cheese...etc. We very rarely eat fast food, its more like salad, soup and sands from Panera is as close as we get. The kids will get a cheese burger every now and again, but that is maybe once every other month. I do not eat beef or pork but I make everything for the house so no one is subjected to my eating choices.

All our meals are well balanced and healthy. Its just the fact that every meal with SD turns into all about SD... stop bouncing in your chair SD, stop chewing with your mouth open SD, elbows off the table SD, you have to eat everything on your plate SD, (30 minutes later) everyone is done and you are alone at the table SD could you hurry up?